Worship

“The hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.”  JOHN 4:23–24

It's been a long time since my last post.  Had a lot going on and my heart (and my head) just wasn't in the right place to post without sounding rebellious, cenical, and angry.  As a family, we have been going through a lot.  We're making preparations to move in a few weeks, which is stressful enough.  The car is in the shop again.  This time it's not so bad; only $500 instead of the normal $1500 each time we take it in. Hannah is home for the summer, which adds another body in our already small house and another mouth at our already baren table.  I, as the father, take on the whole weight of the guilt of not being able to take care of all of them and I feel like a failure when we struggle to make ends meet.  It may not be real but it's how I feel.  We are in a state of waiting.  An eternal nightmare of not knowing where we are or where we are going.  We only know that this can't possibly be it.  This can't be where God intends to leave us.  We are ready to be moved or to be content. 

Patricia is taking a class on worship this quarter that I took last summer at Liberty.  It was an awesome class and changed my life and my view of worship.  The professor became a friend as much as a teacher during the class.  I decided today to send Patricia some of the papers that I wrote for the class just to give her direction.  It's one of those classes that you forget that you are getting credit for because you loose yourself in the passion of what you're studying. 
Anyway,  long story short.  As I was looking through my thumb drive, I ran across something I wrote way back when I worked at the trucking company that laid me off.  I remembered the day I wrote it and the way I was feeling and had to close my office door to hide my tears.  My heart is so heavy and hungry.  No only do I take on the financial responsibilty for our family, but I feel like I've failed in being the spiritual leader of our family.  We are not evil people, we haven't all become drug addicts or anything; but we have definately slipped. 
I found myself burying my face in my hands and asking God, "Where are you?".  I only heard the words, "Where are you?".  That's the problem. I don't know where I am.  I only know that I feel lost and hopeless and I am hungry for the presence of God.  I am very homesick and it seems the road has been closed and everyone else has taken a detour that I somehow missed.  Since I changed my major to psychology, it seems that my soul is not getting fed.  Since I attend a Christian university, the Bible is always included in everything we do, but I spend very little time studying about my passion.  The whole reason I decided to go back to school is because I had spent so much time working toward a career that ended up leaving me in the unemployment line, and so little time working toward the things that would last for eternity.  Now I find myself lost and I don't know how to get back home.  I have lost my scense of wonder. 

I've included part of what I wrote. 

We live in a world where God’s people spend too much time arguing over worship.  The deafening sounds of opinions over styles and personal tastes have all but silenced the sound of a beating heart that longs to worship; truly worship.  I have been on a long journey in a very short time.  It has been one of those weeks where I feel I’ve lived a lifetime in a few short hours.  It began when I had a friend who asked me how our service was last week.  I replied, “It was fine, how was yours?”  “It was glorious, she said, “The worship was wonderful.  We surely kissed Jesus with our worship”.  I sat there on the other end of the phone in stunned silenced.  “Kissed Jesus, with your worship?” I thought.  I don’t even remember the rest of the conversation.  All I do know is that my heart began to burn within me.  The flames of soul had been fanned.  I longed for the times when I kissed Jesus with my worship.  I closed my office door and began to weep. In just few words, the whole and complete desire of my heart was spoken.  I have spent so much of my time trying to explain and describe something that so many people just don’t get.  Worship is not some great mysterious puzzle.  It is not a program that can be duplicated.  It is just plainly and simply, walking with God.  The true worshippers will understand what I’m saying.  There is a sermon to be preached, I will not preach it.  I can only live my life in such a way that I will be welcomed to walk with God in the cool of the day; To let Him hold me close, speak my name and occasionally allow me to kiss His face as I worship Him. He is the great lover of my soul.  

Blessings

Allen

Tony Porter

I came across this video while I was doing some research for an Adolescent Psychology paper on Body Image.  Even though I have no idea what this man's religious views are, I thought his comments were spot on. 
http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html

Blessings
Allen

Family Resemblance

"God knew what He was doing from the very beginning.  He decided from the onset to shape the lives of those who love Him along the same lines as the life of His Son.  The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored.  We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in Him."  Romans 8:29 The Message. 
I like this verse in the message because it doesn't look like I am starting on some tangent abot predesitnation.  Had enough of that for the seven years I was in ministry. 
I had the opportunity to attend a youth led service in my area the other night.  My daughter, Hannah and her boyfriend led worship. He was also the speaker for the night.  I very seldom listen to a sermon because of my slight case of ADD.  One thing is said that triggers the onslaught of random thoughts.  I think the subject of his message was basically, "Why does the world hate us?".  That started the ball rolling for me. 
I have lots of opinions about the reasons the world hate us as Christians.  Gahndi once said that He considered becoming a Christian but saw how Christians treated each other and decided against it.  I read a reponce to a newspaper story about Sunday alcohol sales that referred to us as "Bible Thumpers" who beleive that everthing, good or bad, is the divine providence of God.  I was a little offended at first.  I later composed my own responce and appoligized for the Christians that had crossed his path that had caused such disdain for us. 
I remember watchin an episode of Bones where Dr. Brennen was interviewing a young man.  She observed that he had a cleft chin but his mother or father did not.  After also seeing a picture of his grandparents, she knew without question that either he was adopted or that one of his "parents" were not his biological parent.  She called it a familial facial feature; meaning that a facial feature such as a cleft chin is inherited.  The boy had figured it out long ago because of research online but had never told his parents that he knew he was adopted.  I could go on about the show because it's one of my favorites.  I love squints.  Enough said. 
There are familial features that we should display as Christians.  When we become believers, we are grafted into the vine.  Not just adopted, but given the DNA of our adoptive parent.  That is impossible for us humans, but possible with God. Day by day, we begin to show more of a likeness to God's natural Son, Jesus.  He bears a likeness to his natural Father, God.  I can only convey this in human terms so please don't lable me a heritic. 
So why do so many people who claim to be believers still not show any resemblance to the Son?  BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT BEEN GRAFTED INTO THE VINE!!!  Sorry, but that is the plain simple truth.  We cannot have an experience with God and not be changed.  I think it was Paul Washer who used the analogy of having an encounter with a train.  You don't walk away from an encounter with a train without being changed.  God is bigger than a train; we can't have an experience with Him without being changed.  IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!
The Bible tells us in Romans 8:29 that God decided from the beginning of our Christian walk to shape our lives along the same lines as the life of His Son.  WOW!!!  I can only think of this as being placed in a mold.  Sometimes we form easily into the mold, at other times we have to beaten with a hammer.  Regardless, God is lovingly and relentlessly forming us into the image of His Son. 
So my brothers and sisters in the faith, let's give them a reason to hate us; not because we're hypocrites, but because we're not.  I am reminded of the song "Let's give them something to talk about.  A little myst'ry to figure out".  Not a Christian song but fitting just the same. 
Blessings
Allen

Ash Wednesday

I was raised Baptist so the concept of Ash Wednesday is pretty foreign to me.  I always assumed that it had something to do with Easter and repentance but had never taken the time to recognize its significance.  The only recollection I have of Ash Wednesday is when Patricia worked downtown in Savannah.  One day I met her for lunch and I noticed all the people coming out of St John's Cathedral with ash crosses on their foreheads.  I never gave it a second thought since, as a Baptist, we don't observe Ash Wednesday or Lent.  We do, however, celebrate the dickens out of Easter. 
I decided this morning to do a little more reading on the subject of Ash Wednesday.  In Biblical times it was customary to smear ashes on yourself if you were truly in a state of repentance or mourning.  I have been pondering this all morning.  I know that there are very many sincere children of God who observe Ash Wednesday with all the repentance and mourning over their own sinful condition.  The tradition is steaped in Biblical history.  The custom of using ashes to symbolize sincere mourning was used as far back as Job.  Job was disgusted with himself when he viewed the sinful wretch that he was.  He took all the blame for his depraved condition and symbolized that by wearing sackcloth and sitting in ashes.  Ash Wednesday is the start of the 40 days before Easter.  The 40 days is to be spent in fasting or some sort.  Some people go all out and only have bread and water much like Jesus did when he spent 40 days in the wilderness. 
Just coming out of the Mardi Gras season with the climax being Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, its hard to take the majority seriously.  I mean, you party like it 1999, then overnight, you are transformed into this mournful, repentant soul.  I have a problem not seeing that as a little bit hypocritical.
I have decided that I will take this season seriously.  I am not sure if God would have me fast, expecially since it is lunch time and I am as hungry as a fat kid in a candy store, but I feel like he wants me to do something to make this season meaningful. 
I heard a song that was originally done by Christ for the Nations called Unto the Lamb.  Like I always do, I analyze and research things to death.  I ended up on the Christ for the Nations website.  I watched a video about their worship.  The guy speaking was talking about how when they come to worship they find many times that worship has already begun before they get on the stage to play.  WOW!   I thought, "I would love for that to happen".  One Sunday, I would like to arrive at the First Church and find that everyone in the room is on their faces before God.  No need to play, no need to sing a note.  The Spirit of God has already called his people to worship.  That would be something to see.  I have found several times this week that it hasn't taken much to get me in a worshipful frame of mind.  I have played, "Unto the Lamb" so many times on my iPod that it automatically goes to it when I turn it on.  I cried over the Gateway Worship song "My Everything" so many times that I have almost shorted out the battery.
I think that the season of Lent should be filled with worship.  Yeah, that's it.  My goal is that when Easter arrives and I dress myself up in my best, that my heart will be in the presence of God.  I hope that when I arrive, God is already there and His presence has so filled the temple that those who arrived before me, are already on their faces.  The organ isn't playing, the PowerPoint isn't rolling.  The only sounds are the sounds are the sounds of weeping as the people of God experience the presence of God.  That would be something to see. 
So, here's my fast.  I will fast as Jesus did.  Not literally, but spiritually.  I don't think realistically that I could survive on bread and water.  Maybe doughnuts and Diet Coke.  Now that is a fast I could keep. 
I don't really know how this will happen but I know the Holy Spirit will teach me. 
Blessings
Allen

Why Do You Work

Hey Guys
I had an assignment for Psychology Class this past week.  The assignment was a discussion forum that focused on the reasons we work, are we doing what we love to do, and stuff like that.  Since I am a Psychology/Christian Counseling major, we are always asked to include the spiritual compenent on every assignment.  I decided to post it here because I used a post by my blogging friend Jason as inspiration for part of it. (Thanks Buddy).  Anyway, I made a 100 on it and my professor said that it was an AMAZING post.  Any time I can appear to be smart, I have to make sure others see it.  Wonders never cease. 


"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

1 Corinthians 10:31

Why do you work?

I work to glorify God. I don’t do so all the time but that is my primary focus. I didn't’t always have this attitude about work but the economic crunch we have all experienced changed my point of view. I was laid off in February 2009 and after a year of unemployment took a job that pays about a third of my normal salary. I spent a lot of time asking God, why. Why after all the years I had spent working hard and giving everything I had to my job, was I finding myself at the beginning again. Why, as I approached 50 years old, I have to start over like a teenager. I was reminded of this Scripture in 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God”. Every moment has sacred potential to be a moment where we glorify God, no matter if we have a job or not, or if our job is to prepare meals for our family, fold laundry or drive the family shuttle van. So it is with viewpoint that I approach my life and my work. Every moment is given to me as an opportunity to glorify God. I fail often. I wake up in a foul mood and shuffle around the home that, barring some miracle, I am destined to lose and think, “Good Lord, its morning”.

I have a blogger buddy of mine that posted something this week on his blog that really hit home with me about this subject. I asked permission to use his words as inspiration, he obliged. “Wherever you find yourself, you are to pour yourself out for the good of those around you. Working with spreadsheets can be every bit as important and ‘Godly Work’ as preparing a sermon”. (Mitchell)/> It’s all about bringing glory to God. We have this impression that all the secular work will be burned up and that all the ministry work we do, mainly church work, will endure into eternity. I think that all work is sacred. It is all an opportunity to display our love and obedience to God. We honor Him when we work hard.

In the days of the early revivals in Europe the phrase “Protestant work ethic” was used to describe the work ethic displayed by Christians. Christians worked harder, didn't’t drink, didn't’t party and missed less time from work. They worked for a higher boss than their earthly employer and it showed. “Redemption and Lift” was another phrase used to describe the prosperity experienced by believers. It seemed that when people got saved, their priorities changed and so did their economic status. Since they no longer spent their money gambling and drinking they were able to spend their money on their families and could afford nicer houses in better neighborhoods. I am not an advocate of the prosperity gospel. I don’t agree that God promises financial prosperity to every believer but I know that the little I have is not spent in ways that dishonor God.

Am I doing the thing that I enjoy most?

I would like to say that am passionate about my work and that I am doing the thing that I enjoy most, but that would be a lie. I love the people that I work with and in the few months that we have been a team, we have all become a very close-knit “family”. I work for the Public Works Department of our county as an Administrative Specialist. (I am told that is actually a secretary). When I think about having to one day leave this place and find a job that actually pays the bills, I am very sad. I have two bosses that have become very good friends. I can’t bear the thought of leaving them but, I am afraid that one day, when the economy improves and employers are hiring in my field again, that the day will come.

I am a musician and worship leader. Those are the things I am passionate about. I don’t have to do that full-time or receive compensation to be validated in my passions. If I had the choice to do anything, leading worship would be my dream job. Right now I would be content to work full-time and lead worship voluntarily at our church.

Society tells us, especially men, that our value as human beings and our worth to society is determined by our careers and vocations. It shouldn't’t be surprising, with approximately 11 million (actually it’s more like 23 million) people out of work, that people are feeling unappreciated and undervalued. We, as Christians, need to concentrate on the value and worth that we have through Christ. Basically what I am saying is that as Christians, our “work” is to glorify God whether that is working at a job that all your training, experience and age says is beneath you or folding laundry, clipping coupons, schooling children or shuttling family members, your focus is to glorify God. All work is honorable as long as it honors God and we should take satisfaction and contentment from that. But work should pay the bills.

There is an old gospel song that basically sums up my life at this point;

One day at time, Lord Jesus, that’s all I’m asking from You
Just give me the strength to do everyday what I have to do
Yesterdays gone, and tomorrow may never be mine
Teach me today, show me the way, one day at a time.

Blessings
Allen



Mitchell, J. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://clearlyvague.blogspot.com/2011/02/few-more-thoughts-on-glory-and-meaning.html

Losing Focus

I happened upon a story about Florence Chadwick today.  It seems that she became the first woman to swim the English Channel both ways. (Not all at once though)  She later attempted to swim the 26 miles between Catalina and the Califonia coast but a thick fog rolled in making it impossible to see anything, especially the coast and the goal.  She told her mother who was in one of the boats that she didn't think she could make it, so she was pulled into the boat only to discover that she only a mile away from shore.  Because she couldnt' see the destination she was heading far, she lost her focus and gave up. 
That's where I feel like I am.  I've been swimming for such a long time, the fog has blinded my view.  I had this awful sickness for weeks and I barely have a voice to speak much less sing.  I tried to sing yesterday, and to be honest, it was so terrible that I gave up.  Micah, who was in the next room, came out and never said a word.  I know he thought, "He really is a has-been". 
These have been fog filled days for us.  Our home in limbo, living in vurtual poverty and doing our best to survive and honor God at the same time.  We have yet to find a church where we feel that God could use us.  We have been attending our home church lately, mostly because it's comfortable, not because anything spectacular is happening there. 
We have been swimming and I was just about to the point of giving up and getting back in the boat and saying, "OK God, I can't make it" when I read this story. 
I am reminded of a book I read years ago called "God's Eye View".  It talked about how sometimes we are like children riding in an elevator filled with adults.  All we can see from our level is knees and belt buckles.  The adult don't seem to be afraid because they can see from a different perspective.  You raise your arms for your dad to pick you up and all of a sudden, you relax.  You can see things from your dad's eye view.  It makes all the difference.  I guess what I'm saying is, "Father, I am afraid.  I am drowning in a sea of kneecaps  and belt buckles.  I am holding my arms up for you to pick me up.  Sure I want to be held by you and hear you tell me that everything will be ok, but I also want to see things the way you see them.  All I need is a little focus". 
I am also reminded of the hymn (Which happens to be my favorite) "The Solid Rock".  The chorus says,  "Lord lift me up and let me stand by faith on heavens table land.  I higher plane that I have found. Lord plant my feet on solid ground." 
So, I will continue to swim because I don't want to quit and find out that I was almost there. 
By the way, Ms. Chadwick, sucessfully swam the 26 miles two months later.  The fog still rolled in but she finished because she kept a mental image of the coast in mind.  THAT WILL PREACH! 

Blessings
Allen

Leaning Forward

I am currently reading a book by Bob Kauflin called "Worship Matters".  It's a powerful book but I had gotten to a portion of the book that seemed hard to follow.  I was having trouble keeping my attention on the book.  Most times when this happens while I'm reading I will put the book away for a while and pick it up later; possibly weeks or months later.  I've probably underlined more in this book than any other I have read.  
I was about to put the book down when I came across a portion of the book that talked about "leaning forward" to hear what the Holy Spirit was saying.  My heart was immediately pricked. 
Recently we felt the call of God to return to our home church.  We had not idea why, at this time, that God was leading us in this direction; we just knew it was time to go home.  It's been almost 20 years since we've been there.  Since that time they have added staff members, added a service and moved to a larger facility.  Not much else has changed.  Most of the faces of the people we loved all those years ago are still present along with a host of new ones; some born in and some coming into the fellowship on their own.  Regardless, it's good to be home. 
Why did this subject come up today?  A couple of days ago Patricia and I were talking about how hungry our hearts were for real worship.  We have found ourselves in the "sitting back" position not really expecting God to do anything miraculous.  What a shame for a family who has experienced God in real and tangible ways. 
How do I get back to a "leaning forward" position?  I'm not really sure. 
I reflected yesterday about how I had written something that had been misinterpreted and misunderstood by someone.  I talked about how it had taken the wind out of my sails and I had not written much because of it.  That posting was about expectancy.  How ironic that the subject that was so fresh on my mind yesterday is again in the forefront of my mind.  I remember the intimate times with my Father.  I have experienced times of closeness that were so real that I believed that if I stretched out my hand, I would touch His face.  Where has my sense of wonder gone?  Why am I no longer leaning forward to hear His voice?  Somewhere along the road I have leaned back and crossed my arms instead of leaning forward and listening intently to what God has to say about our situation. 
Our family has faced struggle this past year and I'm afraid that the end is not in sight.  How we will make it through the dark days to come is beyond me.  I find myself in a state of anger sometimes.  I wish I could just get to the place where I simply trusted God.  I look into the faces of my family and am consumed with such guilt.  I feel that I have failed them.  "Children are resilient" I am told.  "They will remember the faith you showed and the fact that the family held together through the tough times".  I grew up poor, not because my parents didn't make good money but because my dad drank and gambled it away.  There was little left after he paid his weekly bar tab and the gambling debts.  Mom worked hard for minimum wage to afford us the things we had.  I don't think I was that resilient.  I held a lot of bitterness for years and resentment toward them for the suffering we endured.  I was determined to make a better life and be different than my parents.
Today I am determined to uncross my arms and lean forward and try to get my sense of expectancy back.  I must admit that the past few months have been met with a "What are You going to do to me today" attitude.  I want to change that.  It is time for this man of self proclaimed faith to "put up or shut up" and start living a life of expectancy again.
Blessings
Allen