Hey Guys
The past week or so has been a roller coaster of emotions for our family. It seems that once again we have found ourselves in the middle of controversy over worship. Patricia and I have spent our lives learning, studying, learning some more about worship. We don't claim to have our fingers on the pulse of God but we do feel that we have insight that very few people have. We have experienced God in all of His realness. We have had times when we felt that we were as close to God as a human was allowed to be and still be alive.
Our church has decided to follow the trend instead of the voice of God. I do not and never will believe that worship should be designed to please any group of people. It is up to God and His leadership via the Holy Spirit to keep us culteraly relavent. It is up to us to listen and follow and obey.
Ever since the discussion started to merge our church body with another church plant in the area there has been a definate push in the direction where we feel that the majority of churches are heading. It seems that the push to be Purpose Driven and follow the direction of Rick Warren is outweighing what is scriptural and what God has designed. Nowhere in scripture do we see an example or an instruction to design our worship around our culture. I get collective gasps each time I say that. It is what I believe. It is what God has taught me to believe.
I am a 48 year old man and can be set in my ways. Some music doesn't appeal to me but I still listen. Many people my age will only listen to one style. I am eclectic. I believe that God speaks through more than one style. (I struggle with whether He actually uses Southern Gospel or not) JK. What has kept me culturally relevant up to this point is my dedication to prayer and seeking God's will. Every song must meet serious critiria. It must be scripturally acurate. Style doesn't matter. The writer doesn't matter. The age of the song doesn't matter. It is my job once I feel led to pursue a song to make it condusive for worship, to arrange it an a style and key that makes it suitable for corporate worship and to pray, pray, pray for the leading to use it and then teach it to my team.
I am very discrouaged. I am having thoughts that maybe this is the season of my life when God has finished with me in this area and expects me to step aside and let Him use younger, fresher worshippers. Maybe this is the time that I need to support my kids and write songs for them and teach them how to lead worship.
I feel like Moses. Able to glance over into the Promised Land but not allowed to actually go there. I don't know if I can live an abudant life if I have to watch my kids go where my soul has always desired to go.
So, once again, the Cooke family is on the move. I never intended for our live to be like this, moving from church to church and never really finding what we are looking for. My family has been miserable at Journey and have only endured for my sake. I felt that Journey was the place that we could grow from the ground up. The small church has been very hard for us. I am used to leading choir, having a full band that actually practices and a plethura of voices to choose from.
Journey feels that the way I lead has become loud and distracting and that people are not able to worship. It couldn't possibly be the full set of drums and the 8 foot ceiling or the electric guitar blaring through one monitor speaker. It couldn't possibly be the one voice that no matter how bad it sounds seems to blare through the speakers. It most definately must be me.
I have lots of healing to do from past experiences and thought that Journey was the place that would allow me to do that. Instead I find that I am hurt all over again and the scabs have just been torn off and once again I am bleeding out of control.
I fully expected God to rush in in these last days and shake the stuff out of the church as a whole. He hasn't done that. The church is ineffetive as it stands and it is frustrating to watch it and know that God is able to change things and yet He chooses not to. The church is looking for "feel good" sessions and lacks the desire to know God fully. People don't hunger for God. I am heartbroken for the church. How can we expect to win a lost world? I am not interested in entertaining the masses. I am interested in following the passion of my heart, to sincerely worship God.
So the Journey is over. I guess the realization will hit me tomorrow. I have no idea where we go from here.
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Lessons from the Fish Bowl
Hebrews 10:25
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
This morning was like any other morning. I woke up at 7AM and made my way into the kitchen to put the coffee on. Each morning for I don't know how many years my first priority has been to feed our goldfish "Fluffy". Fluffy is the spartest goldfish ever. He knows as soon as the light turns on in the kitchen that it is time for him to be fed. If I mistakenly make the coffee first or get busy doing some other chore then he makes a funny noise at the top of his bowl to get my attention. I would almost swear that in a past life he was a golden retreiver. While living in apartments and not being allowed to have pets our family opted on goldfish. Fluffy was the lone survivor and had been with out family for a few years. He had been the topic of conversation at many gatherings at the Cooke house. When we moved to our house in the country Fluffy was given a position of prominence in our home. He was placed where our family spends much of their time with each other and freinds. On the kitchen counter.
This morning was like any other. I shuffled into the kitchen and immediately noticed that Fluffy was not at the top of the bowl. Sometimes if it's really cool in the house he goes to the bottom of the bowl. I sprinkled a little food on top and still, no Fluffy. My heart sank. I looked on the counter behind the bowl and sure enough, Fluffly had jumped out of the water onto the counter. It was too late to save him.
I don't know what possessed the crazy fish to jump out of the bowl. He had never done that before and his first attempt was succesful and tragic.
So I had to wake my family and tell them that Fluffy was gone.
What lesson can I possibly learn from this.
I am sitting at my desk and thinking about the events of the morning when suddenly I am reminded of the above verse.
We are so much like our goldfish. We swim around in our little bowl and one day we decide to jump out into the vastness of space leaving the safety of the bowl.
My first thought on this vein was that how many of us leave the safety of our church family and then are so surprised when we find ourselves laying on the counter alone in the darkness, gasping for breath. We can't survive whithout the safety of our church family. Our tendency is to look out of the fishbowl and desire to be in the world beyond. So we jump, maybe not all at once. Maybe we stick our tails out of the water. We could survive without a tail if something horrible happens. Nothing happens, and the coolness of the air outside refreshes us and feels nice on our scales. So in the darkness of night we decide, "I will leave the safety of the bowl and jump with all my might out of the bowl". It never occurs to us how we will get back in.
We jump and as we flop and gasp on the counter, we realize that this was not a good idea.
Fellow travelers, we make so many excuses for the things we do. We justify things in our lives that take us away from our church family. Sticking our tails out of the water every now and then refreshes us and feels good to our scales. "I can live without a tail" we tell ourselves. Then when we find ourselves flopping and gasping for our lives. It never occured to us that we would desire to be in the bowl. The bowl was our life.
God's Word tells us that our church family is our fishbowl. We are safe when we are together. It's when we jump out of that bowl and decide to live life alone that we are in danger. A weekend here and Sunday there, a Bible study here a Lifegroup there and sooner or later we find ourselves on the kitchen counter all dried out and ready to be flushed.
In the early church, sticking together was survival. The early Christians had to depend on each other to eat and have shelter. Being a Christian in those times meant posssibly losing everything. Staying in the fishbowl was called survival.
So, as you make your plans for the summer dont' forget, YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOUR TAIL!!!
So long, Fluffy. You have taught me many lessons in your short life. Who would have thunk that the end of your life would be the most powerful lesson of all.
Blessings
Allen
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
This morning was like any other morning. I woke up at 7AM and made my way into the kitchen to put the coffee on. Each morning for I don't know how many years my first priority has been to feed our goldfish "Fluffy". Fluffy is the spartest goldfish ever. He knows as soon as the light turns on in the kitchen that it is time for him to be fed. If I mistakenly make the coffee first or get busy doing some other chore then he makes a funny noise at the top of his bowl to get my attention. I would almost swear that in a past life he was a golden retreiver. While living in apartments and not being allowed to have pets our family opted on goldfish. Fluffy was the lone survivor and had been with out family for a few years. He had been the topic of conversation at many gatherings at the Cooke house. When we moved to our house in the country Fluffy was given a position of prominence in our home. He was placed where our family spends much of their time with each other and freinds. On the kitchen counter.
This morning was like any other. I shuffled into the kitchen and immediately noticed that Fluffy was not at the top of the bowl. Sometimes if it's really cool in the house he goes to the bottom of the bowl. I sprinkled a little food on top and still, no Fluffy. My heart sank. I looked on the counter behind the bowl and sure enough, Fluffly had jumped out of the water onto the counter. It was too late to save him.
I don't know what possessed the crazy fish to jump out of the bowl. He had never done that before and his first attempt was succesful and tragic.
So I had to wake my family and tell them that Fluffy was gone.
What lesson can I possibly learn from this.
I am sitting at my desk and thinking about the events of the morning when suddenly I am reminded of the above verse.
We are so much like our goldfish. We swim around in our little bowl and one day we decide to jump out into the vastness of space leaving the safety of the bowl.
My first thought on this vein was that how many of us leave the safety of our church family and then are so surprised when we find ourselves laying on the counter alone in the darkness, gasping for breath. We can't survive whithout the safety of our church family. Our tendency is to look out of the fishbowl and desire to be in the world beyond. So we jump, maybe not all at once. Maybe we stick our tails out of the water. We could survive without a tail if something horrible happens. Nothing happens, and the coolness of the air outside refreshes us and feels nice on our scales. So in the darkness of night we decide, "I will leave the safety of the bowl and jump with all my might out of the bowl". It never occurs to us how we will get back in.
We jump and as we flop and gasp on the counter, we realize that this was not a good idea.
Fellow travelers, we make so many excuses for the things we do. We justify things in our lives that take us away from our church family. Sticking our tails out of the water every now and then refreshes us and feels good to our scales. "I can live without a tail" we tell ourselves. Then when we find ourselves flopping and gasping for our lives. It never occured to us that we would desire to be in the bowl. The bowl was our life.
God's Word tells us that our church family is our fishbowl. We are safe when we are together. It's when we jump out of that bowl and decide to live life alone that we are in danger. A weekend here and Sunday there, a Bible study here a Lifegroup there and sooner or later we find ourselves on the kitchen counter all dried out and ready to be flushed.
In the early church, sticking together was survival. The early Christians had to depend on each other to eat and have shelter. Being a Christian in those times meant posssibly losing everything. Staying in the fishbowl was called survival.
So, as you make your plans for the summer dont' forget, YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOUR TAIL!!!
So long, Fluffy. You have taught me many lessons in your short life. Who would have thunk that the end of your life would be the most powerful lesson of all.
Blessings
Allen
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