Psalm 122:1 "When they said, 'Let's go to the house of God', my heart leaped for joy".
The past few weeks I have been in a really conteplative mood. I don't know if it was the Philosophy class I was taking for school or if it was a stirring of my soul by God. Maybe it was a little of both.
I heard a story today that seemed to sum up the whole debockle that I have about the way the church does worship. I must say, I have been everywhere and seen pretty much seen everything done in the name of worship. Most of what I find is that I am just as empty and unsatified when I leave as when I came in; probably more so, becacuse I don't understand how people can say that they have had an experience with Almighty God and still say and do the things they do. I am so weary of seeing a group of young people get up and lead worhsip who have no idea what it means to walk with God. Anyway, the story goes....a young couple had been blessed with a new baby so they decided to throw a big party to celebrate the birth. The house was decorated with flowers and banners all welcoming the arrival of their brand new baby. The people came bearing their gifts; they ate their cake and drank punch just like every other part. It was truly a celebration. Suddenly someone spoke up, "So let's see the little tike", so they all rushed to the bedroom where the litle one had been left sleeping. A horrible discovery was made. Before the party, the parents had placed the baby on the bed in their bedroom for a nap. As the guest began to arrive, the host and hostess mindlesly gave instructions, "Just throw your coats on our bed". One by one, the guest threw their coats on the bed until finally the baby could not stand the weight and suffocated. The whole reason they had come to the party was to honor the baby, but all the while they ignored the focus of the party.
That is a tragic story but it is a story that I witness all the time. You have too, if you are honest. We get so caught up trying to arrange and design the perfect party that we lose the real focus of the party. The guest come in, toss their coats on the bed and before long, what should have been the focus of our party has come to a tragic end.
Suppose the baby would have cried? Maybe it did but the filter of the coats drowned out the cries. Each Sunday we arrive at church and mindlessly throw our coats on the bed. The Father is crying out, "Look at me!" but the sounds of His cries are muffled by the weight of our stuff and the music we play to honor Him. O my soul! My heart aches for the reality of worship. My soul pants for the presence of God.
I remember when I was a worship leader that I would often be criticized because I didn't mingle and socialize before the service. Most Sunday mornings, I had retreated to a quiet spot to just listen to what God was saying. It was like dialing the phone and waiting to get a connection and then saying, "Hold on" and passing the phone to someone else and saying, "Someone wants to talk to you". You can tell the ones that are expecting to meet God during a service by the conversation that takes place when they enter the sanctuary. I would love to enter a sanctuary and find that worship had already begun, not because I was late but because God had already shown up and His people were responding.
Tommy Tenney tells a story in "The God Chasers" that has always stuck with me. He tells the story that one Sunday morning that the restaurants and stores are all checking their watches becuase the normal "church crowd" has not shown up at the normal time. After investigating, it's found that the Spirit of God had shown up at church and the entire congregation had had an encounter with God and was still at church on their faces before God. My summation doesn't give the story justice but you get my drift, right?
I have learned in most cases that when God gives me something to share with others, that it is meant for me first. This is not exception. I have not been going to church with an expectant heart. Maybe the reason God hasn't shown up is because we are no longer on heaven's GPS. Maybe it's because one person has lost their focus....me.
I am confused and dissalusioned right now. I still believe in God as much as every but I am finding that I no longer believe in Christians. How could I? I struggled the past few weeks with thoughts that maybe God wasn't as powerful as He once once. Maybe He had lost His spark. Why else would there be so many people who are satisfied with what they're getting from church. I see it every week and I am heartbroken.
I spoke with a friend of mine a few days ago. We talked about a lot but the subject finally came around to worship. I'm just of the opinion that God doesn't speak to us anymore. Why else would there be a constant stream of secular songs being turned out. New artists appear on the scene every day. This doesn't happen in Christian music. When an artist the caliber of Rachel Lampa can't make it in Christian music, something is wrong. Give that girl a song equal in feeling to something that Adele would sing and I bet you it would turn the world on it's ear.
I dare someone to get a fire in their boosom. I dare them to get a passion for God and serve the Lord in reckless abandon. I dare them. You want to know why that world vomits at the very tought of us? Because we talk all this stuff about how powerful God is and how He will meet your every need and we're so focused on living the good life and trying to keep up to the standards of the world, that it's hard to see that we put of trust in God.
Anyway, sorry if this post seems random. I try to write how I feel and today I feel...well I don't even really know how I feel. I'm just disappointed in the people that claim the name of Christ. I have lots more to say about this but I will save it for another post because right now I can't even talk about it. My faith in God is strong but I don't understand why He seems powerless to control what His children do, me included. I am losing my faith in these Christ followers who try to convince others how much better life would be if we join them. Really? When will God finally get tired of all the bull crap we shovel?
We talked alot about free will and foreknowledge in philosophy class. I have always been thankful that God created in us a will to choose between right and wrong. I think it shows how much God loves us, that He would give us the opportunity and ability to choose to do what is right. I am questioning how loving that decision really was. With the ability to choose what is right, we were also given the ability to choose what is wrong and to purposely hurt those we are commanded to love. Many have chosen that path and have chosen to live a life that dishonors God. The Bible says that in the last days it would be like this but it doesn't say how difficult it would be to witness it being fulfilled. When will God get tired of all the bull crap?
I dare you to live a life of holiness. I dare you to give God control of your life and YOUR ACTIONS. I dare you to let Him move.
Verse of the Day
“[He Gets the Last Word]Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You're not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It's the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won't last forever. It won't be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.” 1 Peter 5:8-9 MSG
Blessings
Allen
Monday, October 31, 2011
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Unthinkable
I am currently in week seven of my Philosophy class at Liberty University. This class....it's unbelievable. My head aches most days when I try to understand and grasp concepts in a class where there are really no wrong or right answers. I am a thinker and an examiner my nature so this class has me thinking and examining way beyond what I have time for. Every assignment has been challenging. This week was no exception. We were given the scenario that we were an agent for the CTT (Counter-Terrorist Team) and we have been given the task of extracting information from a know terrorist as to the location of a bomb. Torture will not work on this terrorist but you come to the conclusion that torturing his daughter would be effective. You cannot fake the torture because he will not believe it unless he hears the screams of his child. I bring the girl into the room and strap her into a chair. I light a cigarette light and prepare to hold the flame against her skin.
That is where I have to explain what I would do. I found myself asking the question, "Is it ever right to do wrong?" I posed this to my children yesterday and also to my Facebook friends. I was amazed at the diversity of the answers. My children believe that it is never right to lie unless it is to keep from hurting feelings or to save a life. Some of my Facebook friends said that it was OK to lie when it involves spreading the gospel and taking the Bible into countries where it is illegal to do so. It is also apparently ok to lie about your weight. Regardless, I found this assignment intriguing and challenging. I pasted my response below.
I believe that the Bible supports our actions of war when it comes to defending ourselves and others from the abuses of tyranny. I hold to the Deontology theory of ethics because I feel that it adheres closer to the Biblical example that it is never right to do wrong. If the intentions of our actions are to always glorify God and the standard by which we make moral decisions is the same as modeled by Christ, then we have no moral dilemma.
In the movie “Unthinkable” a similar scenario is played out when the character played by Samuel L. Jackson interrogates a terror suspect using unthinkable tactics. The suspect is tortured to no avail until his family is brought in. His wife is murdered before his eyes and the threat of the torture and death of his children is imminent. The suspect finally divulges the location of three nuclear weapons that have been placed at various locations around the US and millions of lives are saved.
In a Season 2 episode of “Criminal Minds” a similar scenario was posed. After enduring torture from his captors, a terrorist refuses to give up information about an explosive device that could potentially kill hundreds, possibly thousands of people. It is only through the kindness shown by Agent Jason Gideon that the location of the device is discovered and lives are saved. Posing as sympathetic, Gideon allows the prisoner to practice his religious beliefs even though the allowance of the prisoner to pray and meditate was used to deceive him and make him believe that more time had passed than actually had. Even though ridiculed by others in his unit, Gideon held fast to his convictions that physical torture would not succeed and that the only way to extract information was to befriend him and gain his trust. The prisoner was deceived into thinking that his mission had been a success and that many lives had been lost in the process. Even though he used deceit as his method of extracting information, he still held to his standards that torture was ineffective in such cases.
In our scenario, the decision to torture the child would, in most people’s opinion, be justified because it served the “greater good” and millions of lives would be saved if the information was forced from this terrorist. “Whatever means necessary” seems to be the mantra of our government when it comes to the battle against terror. Parents know that children constantly test the limits. When one limit is reached and they are allowed to stretch beyond it, the next step is to extend past the next limit that has been set. It becomes a game of “how far can I go before I get in trouble?” Are we not judged as a nation by the extent and the extremes to which we are willing to go to obtain information? If I, as a CTT team member, am allowed to use all methods at my disposal, and choose to torture a child, what will be the next limit to be reached? Next time will I torture an aged person or a baby? We are now battling an enemy that seems to have no boundaries or conscience and will stoop to any level to battle their enemy. Since we have now encountered the unthinkable in our enemy, do we now have the moral obligation or permission to stoop to their level of terrorism? Has the standard of morality changed with the events of the times and the actions of others? I believe that the Bible is clear and that the standards of ethics and morality have not changed.
I can only use the example of Christ and hope that love and compassion are more powerful weapons than hostility, abuse and fear.
The Bible teaches us that it is never right to do wrong and that when we know the right thing to do and choose not to do it, we sin. “Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” James 4:17. We are taught that the intentions of our hearts are more important than our actions regardless of how noble or honorable they may seem. “…For the LORD searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts...” 1 Chronicles 28:9. It is never right to lie even when lying may save our life. The example we have is Christ who, when he was beaten and crucified cried out for the forgiveness of his torturers. How can torturing an innocent child ever be justified? I don’t think that the argument that this child will only grow up to be as much an American hater as her father is void and unfounded. I believe that good outweighs bad and that, in the end, love is a more powerful weapon.
As a Deontologist, I believe that the standards for morality and what is right was set long ago and is unchanging. Murder is still wrong, lying is still wrong, adultery is still wrong, and the Ten Commandments are still to be considered our code of ethics. Many today in secular and religious circles, have shifted their once dogmatic ethical codes from Deontology to Pragmatic ethics. Their ethical code has “evolved” because of recent events and the actions of others. When we lower our ethical standards to match or surpass that of our enemies we lose something important; our integrity. It is never right to do wrong.
Blessings
Allen
That is where I have to explain what I would do. I found myself asking the question, "Is it ever right to do wrong?" I posed this to my children yesterday and also to my Facebook friends. I was amazed at the diversity of the answers. My children believe that it is never right to lie unless it is to keep from hurting feelings or to save a life. Some of my Facebook friends said that it was OK to lie when it involves spreading the gospel and taking the Bible into countries where it is illegal to do so. It is also apparently ok to lie about your weight. Regardless, I found this assignment intriguing and challenging. I pasted my response below.
I believe that the Bible supports our actions of war when it comes to defending ourselves and others from the abuses of tyranny. I hold to the Deontology theory of ethics because I feel that it adheres closer to the Biblical example that it is never right to do wrong. If the intentions of our actions are to always glorify God and the standard by which we make moral decisions is the same as modeled by Christ, then we have no moral dilemma.
In the movie “Unthinkable” a similar scenario is played out when the character played by Samuel L. Jackson interrogates a terror suspect using unthinkable tactics. The suspect is tortured to no avail until his family is brought in. His wife is murdered before his eyes and the threat of the torture and death of his children is imminent. The suspect finally divulges the location of three nuclear weapons that have been placed at various locations around the US and millions of lives are saved.
In a Season 2 episode of “Criminal Minds” a similar scenario was posed. After enduring torture from his captors, a terrorist refuses to give up information about an explosive device that could potentially kill hundreds, possibly thousands of people. It is only through the kindness shown by Agent Jason Gideon that the location of the device is discovered and lives are saved. Posing as sympathetic, Gideon allows the prisoner to practice his religious beliefs even though the allowance of the prisoner to pray and meditate was used to deceive him and make him believe that more time had passed than actually had. Even though ridiculed by others in his unit, Gideon held fast to his convictions that physical torture would not succeed and that the only way to extract information was to befriend him and gain his trust. The prisoner was deceived into thinking that his mission had been a success and that many lives had been lost in the process. Even though he used deceit as his method of extracting information, he still held to his standards that torture was ineffective in such cases.
In our scenario, the decision to torture the child would, in most people’s opinion, be justified because it served the “greater good” and millions of lives would be saved if the information was forced from this terrorist. “Whatever means necessary” seems to be the mantra of our government when it comes to the battle against terror. Parents know that children constantly test the limits. When one limit is reached and they are allowed to stretch beyond it, the next step is to extend past the next limit that has been set. It becomes a game of “how far can I go before I get in trouble?” Are we not judged as a nation by the extent and the extremes to which we are willing to go to obtain information? If I, as a CTT team member, am allowed to use all methods at my disposal, and choose to torture a child, what will be the next limit to be reached? Next time will I torture an aged person or a baby? We are now battling an enemy that seems to have no boundaries or conscience and will stoop to any level to battle their enemy. Since we have now encountered the unthinkable in our enemy, do we now have the moral obligation or permission to stoop to their level of terrorism? Has the standard of morality changed with the events of the times and the actions of others? I believe that the Bible is clear and that the standards of ethics and morality have not changed.
I can only use the example of Christ and hope that love and compassion are more powerful weapons than hostility, abuse and fear.
The Bible teaches us that it is never right to do wrong and that when we know the right thing to do and choose not to do it, we sin. “Remember, it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it.” James 4:17. We are taught that the intentions of our hearts are more important than our actions regardless of how noble or honorable they may seem. “…For the LORD searches all hearts and understands all the intent of the thoughts...” 1 Chronicles 28:9. It is never right to lie even when lying may save our life. The example we have is Christ who, when he was beaten and crucified cried out for the forgiveness of his torturers. How can torturing an innocent child ever be justified? I don’t think that the argument that this child will only grow up to be as much an American hater as her father is void and unfounded. I believe that good outweighs bad and that, in the end, love is a more powerful weapon.
As a Deontologist, I believe that the standards for morality and what is right was set long ago and is unchanging. Murder is still wrong, lying is still wrong, adultery is still wrong, and the Ten Commandments are still to be considered our code of ethics. Many today in secular and religious circles, have shifted their once dogmatic ethical codes from Deontology to Pragmatic ethics. Their ethical code has “evolved” because of recent events and the actions of others. When we lower our ethical standards to match or surpass that of our enemies we lose something important; our integrity. It is never right to do wrong.
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Does God Exist?
Hmm. Do we have enough proof that God exists? I have spent the past five weeks in a Philosophy class so it's no wonder that I am asking this question, right? I have spent days where I am so ready to get out of this class that I can hardly bare it; and others appreciating the fact that it forces me to ask questions. We are that point of the class where we are focusing on Philosophy in Religion and posing the question, "Does God Exist". I must admit that when I asked myself that question, I didn't know what to say.
When the famous atheist Bertrand Russell was asked what he would do if, after dying, he were to find himself face to face with God for the final judgment, he replied, "I'll tell him, 'Not enough evidence God, not enough evidence!"
The Bible tells us in Romans 1:20 "For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities-His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God". This is all fine and good but I have one question. What about the new creation? The Bible also tells us in 2 Corintians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." The baton has been passed. The responsibilty of providing proof of God's existence has been passed from creation to us who claim the name of Christ. We are the NEW CREATION. We are living proof that God exists. The world should be able to look at us, look at God, look at us, look at God and know that for a human being to undergo such a transformation must be proof of an intelligent designer. Right? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Are you understanding the words that are coming from my mouth (I mean fingers)?
I have found that anytime God gives me a word, it is always to my heart and life first. This is true of this today. This morning I got word that the son and wife of a friend of mine were in an accident this morning. The son was killed, and the wife is critical and may not make it. My emotions were already raw so when I read this statement from Bertrand Russell, I was struck to the heart.
How many people will stand before God for judgment and be able to point their fingers at me and say, "Not enough evidence, God, not enough evidence!".
Revival must come! All that it would take to turn things around would be for us to start passionately serving the God we say has saved us. It seems so simple.
Blessings
Allen
When the famous atheist Bertrand Russell was asked what he would do if, after dying, he were to find himself face to face with God for the final judgment, he replied, "I'll tell him, 'Not enough evidence God, not enough evidence!"
The Bible tells us in Romans 1:20 "For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see his invisible qualities-His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God". This is all fine and good but I have one question. What about the new creation? The Bible also tells us in 2 Corintians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." The baton has been passed. The responsibilty of providing proof of God's existence has been passed from creation to us who claim the name of Christ. We are the NEW CREATION. We are living proof that God exists. The world should be able to look at us, look at God, look at us, look at God and know that for a human being to undergo such a transformation must be proof of an intelligent designer. Right? Are you picking up what I'm putting down? Are you understanding the words that are coming from my mouth (I mean fingers)?
I have found that anytime God gives me a word, it is always to my heart and life first. This is true of this today. This morning I got word that the son and wife of a friend of mine were in an accident this morning. The son was killed, and the wife is critical and may not make it. My emotions were already raw so when I read this statement from Bertrand Russell, I was struck to the heart.
How many people will stand before God for judgment and be able to point their fingers at me and say, "Not enough evidence, God, not enough evidence!".
Revival must come! All that it would take to turn things around would be for us to start passionately serving the God we say has saved us. It seems so simple.
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Worship
“The hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” JOHN 4:23–24
It's been a long time since my last post. Had a lot going on and my heart (and my head) just wasn't in the right place to post without sounding rebellious, cenical, and angry. As a family, we have been going through a lot. We're making preparations to move in a few weeks, which is stressful enough. The car is in the shop again. This time it's not so bad; only $500 instead of the normal $1500 each time we take it in. Hannah is home for the summer, which adds another body in our already small house and another mouth at our already baren table. I, as the father, take on the whole weight of the guilt of not being able to take care of all of them and I feel like a failure when we struggle to make ends meet. It may not be real but it's how I feel. We are in a state of waiting. An eternal nightmare of not knowing where we are or where we are going. We only know that this can't possibly be it. This can't be where God intends to leave us. We are ready to be moved or to be content.
Patricia is taking a class on worship this quarter that I took last summer at Liberty. It was an awesome class and changed my life and my view of worship. The professor became a friend as much as a teacher during the class. I decided today to send Patricia some of the papers that I wrote for the class just to give her direction. It's one of those classes that you forget that you are getting credit for because you loose yourself in the passion of what you're studying.
Anyway, long story short. As I was looking through my thumb drive, I ran across something I wrote way back when I worked at the trucking company that laid me off. I remembered the day I wrote it and the way I was feeling and had to close my office door to hide my tears. My heart is so heavy and hungry. No only do I take on the financial responsibilty for our family, but I feel like I've failed in being the spiritual leader of our family. We are not evil people, we haven't all become drug addicts or anything; but we have definately slipped.
I found myself burying my face in my hands and asking God, "Where are you?". I only heard the words, "Where are you?". That's the problem. I don't know where I am. I only know that I feel lost and hopeless and I am hungry for the presence of God. I am very homesick and it seems the road has been closed and everyone else has taken a detour that I somehow missed. Since I changed my major to psychology, it seems that my soul is not getting fed. Since I attend a Christian university, the Bible is always included in everything we do, but I spend very little time studying about my passion. The whole reason I decided to go back to school is because I had spent so much time working toward a career that ended up leaving me in the unemployment line, and so little time working toward the things that would last for eternity. Now I find myself lost and I don't know how to get back home. I have lost my scense of wonder.
I've included part of what I wrote.
It's been a long time since my last post. Had a lot going on and my heart (and my head) just wasn't in the right place to post without sounding rebellious, cenical, and angry. As a family, we have been going through a lot. We're making preparations to move in a few weeks, which is stressful enough. The car is in the shop again. This time it's not so bad; only $500 instead of the normal $1500 each time we take it in. Hannah is home for the summer, which adds another body in our already small house and another mouth at our already baren table. I, as the father, take on the whole weight of the guilt of not being able to take care of all of them and I feel like a failure when we struggle to make ends meet. It may not be real but it's how I feel. We are in a state of waiting. An eternal nightmare of not knowing where we are or where we are going. We only know that this can't possibly be it. This can't be where God intends to leave us. We are ready to be moved or to be content.
Patricia is taking a class on worship this quarter that I took last summer at Liberty. It was an awesome class and changed my life and my view of worship. The professor became a friend as much as a teacher during the class. I decided today to send Patricia some of the papers that I wrote for the class just to give her direction. It's one of those classes that you forget that you are getting credit for because you loose yourself in the passion of what you're studying.
Anyway, long story short. As I was looking through my thumb drive, I ran across something I wrote way back when I worked at the trucking company that laid me off. I remembered the day I wrote it and the way I was feeling and had to close my office door to hide my tears. My heart is so heavy and hungry. No only do I take on the financial responsibilty for our family, but I feel like I've failed in being the spiritual leader of our family. We are not evil people, we haven't all become drug addicts or anything; but we have definately slipped.
I found myself burying my face in my hands and asking God, "Where are you?". I only heard the words, "Where are you?". That's the problem. I don't know where I am. I only know that I feel lost and hopeless and I am hungry for the presence of God. I am very homesick and it seems the road has been closed and everyone else has taken a detour that I somehow missed. Since I changed my major to psychology, it seems that my soul is not getting fed. Since I attend a Christian university, the Bible is always included in everything we do, but I spend very little time studying about my passion. The whole reason I decided to go back to school is because I had spent so much time working toward a career that ended up leaving me in the unemployment line, and so little time working toward the things that would last for eternity. Now I find myself lost and I don't know how to get back home. I have lost my scense of wonder.
I've included part of what I wrote.
We live in a world where God’s people spend too much time arguing over worship. The deafening sounds of opinions over styles and personal tastes have all but silenced the sound of a beating heart that longs to worship; truly worship. I have been on a long journey in a very short time. It has been one of those weeks where I feel I’ve lived a lifetime in a few short hours. It began when I had a friend who asked me how our service was last week. I replied, “It was fine, how was yours?” “It was glorious, she said, “The worship was wonderful. We surely kissed Jesus with our worship”. I sat there on the other end of the phone in stunned silenced. “Kissed Jesus, with your worship?” I thought. I don’t even remember the rest of the conversation. All I do know is that my heart began to burn within me. The flames of soul had been fanned. I longed for the times when I kissed Jesus with my worship. I closed my office door and began to weep. In just few words, the whole and complete desire of my heart was spoken. I have spent so much of my time trying to explain and describe something that so many people just don’t get. Worship is not some great mysterious puzzle. It is not a program that can be duplicated. It is just plainly and simply, walking with God. The true worshippers will understand what I’m saying. There is a sermon to be preached, I will not preach it. I can only live my life in such a way that I will be welcomed to walk with God in the cool of the day; To let Him hold me close, speak my name and occasionally allow me to kiss His face as I worship Him. He is the great lover of my soul.
Blessings
Allen
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Tony Porter
I came across this video while I was doing some research for an Adolescent Psychology paper on Body Image. Even though I have no idea what this man's religious views are, I thought his comments were spot on.
http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html
Blessings
Allen
http://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men.html
Blessings
Allen
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Family Resemblance
"God knew what He was doing from the very beginning. He decided from the onset to shape the lives of those who love Him along the same lines as the life of His Son. The Son stands first in the line of humanity he restored. We see the original and intended shape of our lives there in Him." Romans 8:29 The Message.
I like this verse in the message because it doesn't look like I am starting on some tangent abot predesitnation. Had enough of that for the seven years I was in ministry.
I had the opportunity to attend a youth led service in my area the other night. My daughter, Hannah and her boyfriend led worship. He was also the speaker for the night. I very seldom listen to a sermon because of my slight case of ADD. One thing is said that triggers the onslaught of random thoughts. I think the subject of his message was basically, "Why does the world hate us?". That started the ball rolling for me.
I have lots of opinions about the reasons the world hate us as Christians. Gahndi once said that He considered becoming a Christian but saw how Christians treated each other and decided against it. I read a reponce to a newspaper story about Sunday alcohol sales that referred to us as "Bible Thumpers" who beleive that everthing, good or bad, is the divine providence of God. I was a little offended at first. I later composed my own responce and appoligized for the Christians that had crossed his path that had caused such disdain for us.
I remember watchin an episode of Bones where Dr. Brennen was interviewing a young man. She observed that he had a cleft chin but his mother or father did not. After also seeing a picture of his grandparents, she knew without question that either he was adopted or that one of his "parents" were not his biological parent. She called it a familial facial feature; meaning that a facial feature such as a cleft chin is inherited. The boy had figured it out long ago because of research online but had never told his parents that he knew he was adopted. I could go on about the show because it's one of my favorites. I love squints. Enough said.
There are familial features that we should display as Christians. When we become believers, we are grafted into the vine. Not just adopted, but given the DNA of our adoptive parent. That is impossible for us humans, but possible with God. Day by day, we begin to show more of a likeness to God's natural Son, Jesus. He bears a likeness to his natural Father, God. I can only convey this in human terms so please don't lable me a heritic.
So why do so many people who claim to be believers still not show any resemblance to the Son? BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT BEEN GRAFTED INTO THE VINE!!! Sorry, but that is the plain simple truth. We cannot have an experience with God and not be changed. I think it was Paul Washer who used the analogy of having an encounter with a train. You don't walk away from an encounter with a train without being changed. God is bigger than a train; we can't have an experience with Him without being changed. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!
The Bible tells us in Romans 8:29 that God decided from the beginning of our Christian walk to shape our lives along the same lines as the life of His Son. WOW!!! I can only think of this as being placed in a mold. Sometimes we form easily into the mold, at other times we have to beaten with a hammer. Regardless, God is lovingly and relentlessly forming us into the image of His Son.
So my brothers and sisters in the faith, let's give them a reason to hate us; not because we're hypocrites, but because we're not. I am reminded of the song "Let's give them something to talk about. A little myst'ry to figure out". Not a Christian song but fitting just the same.
Blessings
Allen
I like this verse in the message because it doesn't look like I am starting on some tangent abot predesitnation. Had enough of that for the seven years I was in ministry.
I had the opportunity to attend a youth led service in my area the other night. My daughter, Hannah and her boyfriend led worship. He was also the speaker for the night. I very seldom listen to a sermon because of my slight case of ADD. One thing is said that triggers the onslaught of random thoughts. I think the subject of his message was basically, "Why does the world hate us?". That started the ball rolling for me.
I have lots of opinions about the reasons the world hate us as Christians. Gahndi once said that He considered becoming a Christian but saw how Christians treated each other and decided against it. I read a reponce to a newspaper story about Sunday alcohol sales that referred to us as "Bible Thumpers" who beleive that everthing, good or bad, is the divine providence of God. I was a little offended at first. I later composed my own responce and appoligized for the Christians that had crossed his path that had caused such disdain for us.
I remember watchin an episode of Bones where Dr. Brennen was interviewing a young man. She observed that he had a cleft chin but his mother or father did not. After also seeing a picture of his grandparents, she knew without question that either he was adopted or that one of his "parents" were not his biological parent. She called it a familial facial feature; meaning that a facial feature such as a cleft chin is inherited. The boy had figured it out long ago because of research online but had never told his parents that he knew he was adopted. I could go on about the show because it's one of my favorites. I love squints. Enough said.
There are familial features that we should display as Christians. When we become believers, we are grafted into the vine. Not just adopted, but given the DNA of our adoptive parent. That is impossible for us humans, but possible with God. Day by day, we begin to show more of a likeness to God's natural Son, Jesus. He bears a likeness to his natural Father, God. I can only convey this in human terms so please don't lable me a heritic.
So why do so many people who claim to be believers still not show any resemblance to the Son? BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOT BEEN GRAFTED INTO THE VINE!!! Sorry, but that is the plain simple truth. We cannot have an experience with God and not be changed. I think it was Paul Washer who used the analogy of having an encounter with a train. You don't walk away from an encounter with a train without being changed. God is bigger than a train; we can't have an experience with Him without being changed. IT IS IMPOSSIBLE!!
The Bible tells us in Romans 8:29 that God decided from the beginning of our Christian walk to shape our lives along the same lines as the life of His Son. WOW!!! I can only think of this as being placed in a mold. Sometimes we form easily into the mold, at other times we have to beaten with a hammer. Regardless, God is lovingly and relentlessly forming us into the image of His Son.
So my brothers and sisters in the faith, let's give them a reason to hate us; not because we're hypocrites, but because we're not. I am reminded of the song "Let's give them something to talk about. A little myst'ry to figure out". Not a Christian song but fitting just the same.
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ash Wednesday
I was raised Baptist so the concept of Ash Wednesday is pretty foreign to me. I always assumed that it had something to do with Easter and repentance but had never taken the time to recognize its significance. The only recollection I have of Ash Wednesday is when Patricia worked downtown in Savannah. One day I met her for lunch and I noticed all the people coming out of St John's Cathedral with ash crosses on their foreheads. I never gave it a second thought since, as a Baptist, we don't observe Ash Wednesday or Lent. We do, however, celebrate the dickens out of Easter.
I decided this morning to do a little more reading on the subject of Ash Wednesday. In Biblical times it was customary to smear ashes on yourself if you were truly in a state of repentance or mourning. I have been pondering this all morning. I know that there are very many sincere children of God who observe Ash Wednesday with all the repentance and mourning over their own sinful condition. The tradition is steaped in Biblical history. The custom of using ashes to symbolize sincere mourning was used as far back as Job. Job was disgusted with himself when he viewed the sinful wretch that he was. He took all the blame for his depraved condition and symbolized that by wearing sackcloth and sitting in ashes. Ash Wednesday is the start of the 40 days before Easter. The 40 days is to be spent in fasting or some sort. Some people go all out and only have bread and water much like Jesus did when he spent 40 days in the wilderness.
Just coming out of the Mardi Gras season with the climax being Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, its hard to take the majority seriously. I mean, you party like it 1999, then overnight, you are transformed into this mournful, repentant soul. I have a problem not seeing that as a little bit hypocritical.
I have decided that I will take this season seriously. I am not sure if God would have me fast, expecially since it is lunch time and I am as hungry as a fat kid in a candy store, but I feel like he wants me to do something to make this season meaningful.
I heard a song that was originally done by Christ for the Nations called Unto the Lamb. Like I always do, I analyze and research things to death. I ended up on the Christ for the Nations website. I watched a video about their worship. The guy speaking was talking about how when they come to worship they find many times that worship has already begun before they get on the stage to play. WOW! I thought, "I would love for that to happen". One Sunday, I would like to arrive at the First Church and find that everyone in the room is on their faces before God. No need to play, no need to sing a note. The Spirit of God has already called his people to worship. That would be something to see. I have found several times this week that it hasn't taken much to get me in a worshipful frame of mind. I have played, "Unto the Lamb" so many times on my iPod that it automatically goes to it when I turn it on. I cried over the Gateway Worship song "My Everything" so many times that I have almost shorted out the battery.
I think that the season of Lent should be filled with worship. Yeah, that's it. My goal is that when Easter arrives and I dress myself up in my best, that my heart will be in the presence of God. I hope that when I arrive, God is already there and His presence has so filled the temple that those who arrived before me, are already on their faces. The organ isn't playing, the PowerPoint isn't rolling. The only sounds are the sounds are the sounds of weeping as the people of God experience the presence of God. That would be something to see.
So, here's my fast. I will fast as Jesus did. Not literally, but spiritually. I don't think realistically that I could survive on bread and water. Maybe doughnuts and Diet Coke. Now that is a fast I could keep.
I don't really know how this will happen but I know the Holy Spirit will teach me.
Blessings
Allen
I decided this morning to do a little more reading on the subject of Ash Wednesday. In Biblical times it was customary to smear ashes on yourself if you were truly in a state of repentance or mourning. I have been pondering this all morning. I know that there are very many sincere children of God who observe Ash Wednesday with all the repentance and mourning over their own sinful condition. The tradition is steaped in Biblical history. The custom of using ashes to symbolize sincere mourning was used as far back as Job. Job was disgusted with himself when he viewed the sinful wretch that he was. He took all the blame for his depraved condition and symbolized that by wearing sackcloth and sitting in ashes. Ash Wednesday is the start of the 40 days before Easter. The 40 days is to be spent in fasting or some sort. Some people go all out and only have bread and water much like Jesus did when he spent 40 days in the wilderness.
Just coming out of the Mardi Gras season with the climax being Fat Tuesday, the day before Ash Wednesday, its hard to take the majority seriously. I mean, you party like it 1999, then overnight, you are transformed into this mournful, repentant soul. I have a problem not seeing that as a little bit hypocritical.
I have decided that I will take this season seriously. I am not sure if God would have me fast, expecially since it is lunch time and I am as hungry as a fat kid in a candy store, but I feel like he wants me to do something to make this season meaningful.
I heard a song that was originally done by Christ for the Nations called Unto the Lamb. Like I always do, I analyze and research things to death. I ended up on the Christ for the Nations website. I watched a video about their worship. The guy speaking was talking about how when they come to worship they find many times that worship has already begun before they get on the stage to play. WOW! I thought, "I would love for that to happen". One Sunday, I would like to arrive at the First Church and find that everyone in the room is on their faces before God. No need to play, no need to sing a note. The Spirit of God has already called his people to worship. That would be something to see. I have found several times this week that it hasn't taken much to get me in a worshipful frame of mind. I have played, "Unto the Lamb" so many times on my iPod that it automatically goes to it when I turn it on. I cried over the Gateway Worship song "My Everything" so many times that I have almost shorted out the battery.
I think that the season of Lent should be filled with worship. Yeah, that's it. My goal is that when Easter arrives and I dress myself up in my best, that my heart will be in the presence of God. I hope that when I arrive, God is already there and His presence has so filled the temple that those who arrived before me, are already on their faces. The organ isn't playing, the PowerPoint isn't rolling. The only sounds are the sounds are the sounds of weeping as the people of God experience the presence of God. That would be something to see.
So, here's my fast. I will fast as Jesus did. Not literally, but spiritually. I don't think realistically that I could survive on bread and water. Maybe doughnuts and Diet Coke. Now that is a fast I could keep.
I don't really know how this will happen but I know the Holy Spirit will teach me.
Blessings
Allen
Friday, March 4, 2011
Why Do You Work
Hey Guys
I had an assignment for Psychology Class this past week. The assignment was a discussion forum that focused on the reasons we work, are we doing what we love to do, and stuff like that. Since I am a Psychology/Christian Counseling major, we are always asked to include the spiritual compenent on every assignment. I decided to post it here because I used a post by my blogging friend Jason as inspiration for part of it. (Thanks Buddy). Anyway, I made a 100 on it and my professor said that it was an AMAZING post. Any time I can appear to be smart, I have to make sure others see it. Wonders never cease.
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31
Why do you work?
I work to glorify God. I don’t do so all the time but that is my primary focus. I didn't’t always have this attitude about work but the economic crunch we have all experienced changed my point of view. I was laid off in February 2009 and after a year of unemployment took a job that pays about a third of my normal salary. I spent a lot of time asking God, why. Why after all the years I had spent working hard and giving everything I had to my job, was I finding myself at the beginning again. Why, as I approached 50 years old, I have to start over like a teenager. I was reminded of this Scripture in 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God”. Every moment has sacred potential to be a moment where we glorify God, no matter if we have a job or not, or if our job is to prepare meals for our family, fold laundry or drive the family shuttle van. So it is with viewpoint that I approach my life and my work. Every moment is given to me as an opportunity to glorify God. I fail often. I wake up in a foul mood and shuffle around the home that, barring some miracle, I am destined to lose and think, “Good Lord, its morning”.
I have a blogger buddy of mine that posted something this week on his blog that really hit home with me about this subject. I asked permission to use his words as inspiration, he obliged. “Wherever you find yourself, you are to pour yourself out for the good of those around you. Working with spreadsheets can be every bit as important and ‘Godly Work’ as preparing a sermon”. (Mitchell)/> It’s all about bringing glory to God. We have this impression that all the secular work will be burned up and that all the ministry work we do, mainly church work, will endure into eternity. I think that all work is sacred. It is all an opportunity to display our love and obedience to God. We honor Him when we work hard.
In the days of the early revivals in Europe the phrase “Protestant work ethic” was used to describe the work ethic displayed by Christians. Christians worked harder, didn't’t drink, didn't’t party and missed less time from work. They worked for a higher boss than their earthly employer and it showed. “Redemption and Lift” was another phrase used to describe the prosperity experienced by believers. It seemed that when people got saved, their priorities changed and so did their economic status. Since they no longer spent their money gambling and drinking they were able to spend their money on their families and could afford nicer houses in better neighborhoods. I am not an advocate of the prosperity gospel. I don’t agree that God promises financial prosperity to every believer but I know that the little I have is not spent in ways that dishonor God.
Am I doing the thing that I enjoy most?
I would like to say that am passionate about my work and that I am doing the thing that I enjoy most, but that would be a lie. I love the people that I work with and in the few months that we have been a team, we have all become a very close-knit “family”. I work for the Public Works Department of our county as an Administrative Specialist. (I am told that is actually a secretary). When I think about having to one day leave this place and find a job that actually pays the bills, I am very sad. I have two bosses that have become very good friends. I can’t bear the thought of leaving them but, I am afraid that one day, when the economy improves and employers are hiring in my field again, that the day will come.
I am a musician and worship leader. Those are the things I am passionate about. I don’t have to do that full-time or receive compensation to be validated in my passions. If I had the choice to do anything, leading worship would be my dream job. Right now I would be content to work full-time and lead worship voluntarily at our church.
Society tells us, especially men, that our value as human beings and our worth to society is determined by our careers and vocations. It shouldn't’t be surprising, with approximately 11 million (actually it’s more like 23 million) people out of work, that people are feeling unappreciated and undervalued. We, as Christians, need to concentrate on the value and worth that we have through Christ. Basically what I am saying is that as Christians, our “work” is to glorify God whether that is working at a job that all your training, experience and age says is beneath you or folding laundry, clipping coupons, schooling children or shuttling family members, your focus is to glorify God. All work is honorable as long as it honors God and we should take satisfaction and contentment from that. But work should pay the bills.
There is an old gospel song that basically sums up my life at this point;
One day at time, Lord Jesus, that’s all I’m asking from You
Just give me the strength to do everyday what I have to do
Yesterdays gone, and tomorrow may never be mine
Teach me today, show me the way, one day at a time.
Blessings
Allen
Mitchell, J. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://clearlyvague.blogspot.com/2011/02/few-more-thoughts-on-glory-and-meaning.html
I had an assignment for Psychology Class this past week. The assignment was a discussion forum that focused on the reasons we work, are we doing what we love to do, and stuff like that. Since I am a Psychology/Christian Counseling major, we are always asked to include the spiritual compenent on every assignment. I decided to post it here because I used a post by my blogging friend Jason as inspiration for part of it. (Thanks Buddy). Anyway, I made a 100 on it and my professor said that it was an AMAZING post. Any time I can appear to be smart, I have to make sure others see it. Wonders never cease.
"So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31
Why do you work?
I work to glorify God. I don’t do so all the time but that is my primary focus. I didn't’t always have this attitude about work but the economic crunch we have all experienced changed my point of view. I was laid off in February 2009 and after a year of unemployment took a job that pays about a third of my normal salary. I spent a lot of time asking God, why. Why after all the years I had spent working hard and giving everything I had to my job, was I finding myself at the beginning again. Why, as I approached 50 years old, I have to start over like a teenager. I was reminded of this Scripture in 1 Corinthians 10:31 “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God”. Every moment has sacred potential to be a moment where we glorify God, no matter if we have a job or not, or if our job is to prepare meals for our family, fold laundry or drive the family shuttle van. So it is with viewpoint that I approach my life and my work. Every moment is given to me as an opportunity to glorify God. I fail often. I wake up in a foul mood and shuffle around the home that, barring some miracle, I am destined to lose and think, “Good Lord, its morning”.
I have a blogger buddy of mine that posted something this week on his blog that really hit home with me about this subject. I asked permission to use his words as inspiration, he obliged. “Wherever you find yourself, you are to pour yourself out for the good of those around you. Working with spreadsheets can be every bit as important and ‘Godly Work’ as preparing a sermon”. (Mitchell)/> It’s all about bringing glory to God. We have this impression that all the secular work will be burned up and that all the ministry work we do, mainly church work, will endure into eternity. I think that all work is sacred. It is all an opportunity to display our love and obedience to God. We honor Him when we work hard.
In the days of the early revivals in Europe the phrase “Protestant work ethic” was used to describe the work ethic displayed by Christians. Christians worked harder, didn't’t drink, didn't’t party and missed less time from work. They worked for a higher boss than their earthly employer and it showed. “Redemption and Lift” was another phrase used to describe the prosperity experienced by believers. It seemed that when people got saved, their priorities changed and so did their economic status. Since they no longer spent their money gambling and drinking they were able to spend their money on their families and could afford nicer houses in better neighborhoods. I am not an advocate of the prosperity gospel. I don’t agree that God promises financial prosperity to every believer but I know that the little I have is not spent in ways that dishonor God.
Am I doing the thing that I enjoy most?
I would like to say that am passionate about my work and that I am doing the thing that I enjoy most, but that would be a lie. I love the people that I work with and in the few months that we have been a team, we have all become a very close-knit “family”. I work for the Public Works Department of our county as an Administrative Specialist. (I am told that is actually a secretary). When I think about having to one day leave this place and find a job that actually pays the bills, I am very sad. I have two bosses that have become very good friends. I can’t bear the thought of leaving them but, I am afraid that one day, when the economy improves and employers are hiring in my field again, that the day will come.
I am a musician and worship leader. Those are the things I am passionate about. I don’t have to do that full-time or receive compensation to be validated in my passions. If I had the choice to do anything, leading worship would be my dream job. Right now I would be content to work full-time and lead worship voluntarily at our church.
Society tells us, especially men, that our value as human beings and our worth to society is determined by our careers and vocations. It shouldn't’t be surprising, with approximately 11 million (actually it’s more like 23 million) people out of work, that people are feeling unappreciated and undervalued. We, as Christians, need to concentrate on the value and worth that we have through Christ. Basically what I am saying is that as Christians, our “work” is to glorify God whether that is working at a job that all your training, experience and age says is beneath you or folding laundry, clipping coupons, schooling children or shuttling family members, your focus is to glorify God. All work is honorable as long as it honors God and we should take satisfaction and contentment from that. But work should pay the bills.
There is an old gospel song that basically sums up my life at this point;
One day at time, Lord Jesus, that’s all I’m asking from You
Just give me the strength to do everyday what I have to do
Yesterdays gone, and tomorrow may never be mine
Teach me today, show me the way, one day at a time.
Blessings
Allen
Mitchell, J. (n.d.). Retrieved from http://clearlyvague.blogspot.com/2011/02/few-more-thoughts-on-glory-and-meaning.html
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Losing Focus
I happened upon a story about Florence Chadwick today. It seems that she became the first woman to swim the English Channel both ways. (Not all at once though) She later attempted to swim the 26 miles between Catalina and the Califonia coast but a thick fog rolled in making it impossible to see anything, especially the coast and the goal. She told her mother who was in one of the boats that she didn't think she could make it, so she was pulled into the boat only to discover that she only a mile away from shore. Because she couldnt' see the destination she was heading far, she lost her focus and gave up.
That's where I feel like I am. I've been swimming for such a long time, the fog has blinded my view. I had this awful sickness for weeks and I barely have a voice to speak much less sing. I tried to sing yesterday, and to be honest, it was so terrible that I gave up. Micah, who was in the next room, came out and never said a word. I know he thought, "He really is a has-been".
These have been fog filled days for us. Our home in limbo, living in vurtual poverty and doing our best to survive and honor God at the same time. We have yet to find a church where we feel that God could use us. We have been attending our home church lately, mostly because it's comfortable, not because anything spectacular is happening there.
We have been swimming and I was just about to the point of giving up and getting back in the boat and saying, "OK God, I can't make it" when I read this story.
I am reminded of a book I read years ago called "God's Eye View". It talked about how sometimes we are like children riding in an elevator filled with adults. All we can see from our level is knees and belt buckles. The adult don't seem to be afraid because they can see from a different perspective. You raise your arms for your dad to pick you up and all of a sudden, you relax. You can see things from your dad's eye view. It makes all the difference. I guess what I'm saying is, "Father, I am afraid. I am drowning in a sea of kneecaps and belt buckles. I am holding my arms up for you to pick me up. Sure I want to be held by you and hear you tell me that everything will be ok, but I also want to see things the way you see them. All I need is a little focus".
I am also reminded of the hymn (Which happens to be my favorite) "The Solid Rock". The chorus says, "Lord lift me up and let me stand by faith on heavens table land. I higher plane that I have found. Lord plant my feet on solid ground."
So, I will continue to swim because I don't want to quit and find out that I was almost there.
By the way, Ms. Chadwick, sucessfully swam the 26 miles two months later. The fog still rolled in but she finished because she kept a mental image of the coast in mind. THAT WILL PREACH!
Blessings
Allen
That's where I feel like I am. I've been swimming for such a long time, the fog has blinded my view. I had this awful sickness for weeks and I barely have a voice to speak much less sing. I tried to sing yesterday, and to be honest, it was so terrible that I gave up. Micah, who was in the next room, came out and never said a word. I know he thought, "He really is a has-been".
These have been fog filled days for us. Our home in limbo, living in vurtual poverty and doing our best to survive and honor God at the same time. We have yet to find a church where we feel that God could use us. We have been attending our home church lately, mostly because it's comfortable, not because anything spectacular is happening there.
We have been swimming and I was just about to the point of giving up and getting back in the boat and saying, "OK God, I can't make it" when I read this story.
I am reminded of a book I read years ago called "God's Eye View". It talked about how sometimes we are like children riding in an elevator filled with adults. All we can see from our level is knees and belt buckles. The adult don't seem to be afraid because they can see from a different perspective. You raise your arms for your dad to pick you up and all of a sudden, you relax. You can see things from your dad's eye view. It makes all the difference. I guess what I'm saying is, "Father, I am afraid. I am drowning in a sea of kneecaps and belt buckles. I am holding my arms up for you to pick me up. Sure I want to be held by you and hear you tell me that everything will be ok, but I also want to see things the way you see them. All I need is a little focus".
I am also reminded of the hymn (Which happens to be my favorite) "The Solid Rock". The chorus says, "Lord lift me up and let me stand by faith on heavens table land. I higher plane that I have found. Lord plant my feet on solid ground."
So, I will continue to swim because I don't want to quit and find out that I was almost there.
By the way, Ms. Chadwick, sucessfully swam the 26 miles two months later. The fog still rolled in but she finished because she kept a mental image of the coast in mind. THAT WILL PREACH!
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Leaning Forward
I am currently reading a book by Bob Kauflin called "Worship Matters". It's a powerful book but I had gotten to a portion of the book that seemed hard to follow. I was having trouble keeping my attention on the book. Most times when this happens while I'm reading I will put the book away for a while and pick it up later; possibly weeks or months later. I've probably underlined more in this book than any other I have read.
I was about to put the book down when I came across a portion of the book that talked about "leaning forward" to hear what the Holy Spirit was saying. My heart was immediately pricked.
Recently we felt the call of God to return to our home church. We had not idea why, at this time, that God was leading us in this direction; we just knew it was time to go home. It's been almost 20 years since we've been there. Since that time they have added staff members, added a service and moved to a larger facility. Not much else has changed. Most of the faces of the people we loved all those years ago are still present along with a host of new ones; some born in and some coming into the fellowship on their own. Regardless, it's good to be home.
Why did this subject come up today? A couple of days ago Patricia and I were talking about how hungry our hearts were for real worship. We have found ourselves in the "sitting back" position not really expecting God to do anything miraculous. What a shame for a family who has experienced God in real and tangible ways.
How do I get back to a "leaning forward" position? I'm not really sure.
I reflected yesterday about how I had written something that had been misinterpreted and misunderstood by someone. I talked about how it had taken the wind out of my sails and I had not written much because of it. That posting was about expectancy. How ironic that the subject that was so fresh on my mind yesterday is again in the forefront of my mind. I remember the intimate times with my Father. I have experienced times of closeness that were so real that I believed that if I stretched out my hand, I would touch His face. Where has my sense of wonder gone? Why am I no longer leaning forward to hear His voice? Somewhere along the road I have leaned back and crossed my arms instead of leaning forward and listening intently to what God has to say about our situation.
Our family has faced struggle this past year and I'm afraid that the end is not in sight. How we will make it through the dark days to come is beyond me. I find myself in a state of anger sometimes. I wish I could just get to the place where I simply trusted God. I look into the faces of my family and am consumed with such guilt. I feel that I have failed them. "Children are resilient" I am told. "They will remember the faith you showed and the fact that the family held together through the tough times". I grew up poor, not because my parents didn't make good money but because my dad drank and gambled it away. There was little left after he paid his weekly bar tab and the gambling debts. Mom worked hard for minimum wage to afford us the things we had. I don't think I was that resilient. I held a lot of bitterness for years and resentment toward them for the suffering we endured. I was determined to make a better life and be different than my parents.
Today I am determined to uncross my arms and lean forward and try to get my sense of expectancy back. I must admit that the past few months have been met with a "What are You going to do to me today" attitude. I want to change that. It is time for this man of self proclaimed faith to "put up or shut up" and start living a life of expectancy again.
Blessings
Allen
I was about to put the book down when I came across a portion of the book that talked about "leaning forward" to hear what the Holy Spirit was saying. My heart was immediately pricked.
Recently we felt the call of God to return to our home church. We had not idea why, at this time, that God was leading us in this direction; we just knew it was time to go home. It's been almost 20 years since we've been there. Since that time they have added staff members, added a service and moved to a larger facility. Not much else has changed. Most of the faces of the people we loved all those years ago are still present along with a host of new ones; some born in and some coming into the fellowship on their own. Regardless, it's good to be home.
Why did this subject come up today? A couple of days ago Patricia and I were talking about how hungry our hearts were for real worship. We have found ourselves in the "sitting back" position not really expecting God to do anything miraculous. What a shame for a family who has experienced God in real and tangible ways.
How do I get back to a "leaning forward" position? I'm not really sure.
I reflected yesterday about how I had written something that had been misinterpreted and misunderstood by someone. I talked about how it had taken the wind out of my sails and I had not written much because of it. That posting was about expectancy. How ironic that the subject that was so fresh on my mind yesterday is again in the forefront of my mind. I remember the intimate times with my Father. I have experienced times of closeness that were so real that I believed that if I stretched out my hand, I would touch His face. Where has my sense of wonder gone? Why am I no longer leaning forward to hear His voice? Somewhere along the road I have leaned back and crossed my arms instead of leaning forward and listening intently to what God has to say about our situation.
Our family has faced struggle this past year and I'm afraid that the end is not in sight. How we will make it through the dark days to come is beyond me. I find myself in a state of anger sometimes. I wish I could just get to the place where I simply trusted God. I look into the faces of my family and am consumed with such guilt. I feel that I have failed them. "Children are resilient" I am told. "They will remember the faith you showed and the fact that the family held together through the tough times". I grew up poor, not because my parents didn't make good money but because my dad drank and gambled it away. There was little left after he paid his weekly bar tab and the gambling debts. Mom worked hard for minimum wage to afford us the things we had. I don't think I was that resilient. I held a lot of bitterness for years and resentment toward them for the suffering we endured. I was determined to make a better life and be different than my parents.
Today I am determined to uncross my arms and lean forward and try to get my sense of expectancy back. I must admit that the past few months have been met with a "What are You going to do to me today" attitude. I want to change that. It is time for this man of self proclaimed faith to "put up or shut up" and start living a life of expectancy again.
Blessings
Allen
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
2011
It's been a while since I last posted. Lots of reasons for that. Mainly, it seems that something I posted months ago was misunderstood by someone who should have known better and it really took the wind out of my sails for a while. I pour my heart out on this blog and it's intention is to chronicle my spiritual journey. I've attenpted to post a few times but each time I tired, I found that only angry words appeared on my screen. I have Facebook to post on if I feel the need to let off some steam. (LOL)
Anyway, a lot has happened since my last post. I am doing online school at Liberty. Patricia has joined me and will begin classes this month. I changed my major from Religion to Psychology/Christian Counseling because I just felt like I was wasting my time majoring in religion when I don't feel called to preach. That and the fact that the Theology class I took last quarter and the Acts class I just finished opened my eyes to the fact that I will never be a theologian. I just want to be a simple person that loves God with all his heart, mind and soul. I don't care about all the "deep spiritual" things. Well, let me rephrase that, I care but I don't think I should spend the rest of my life in school only to find out that God wasn't as concerned with doctrines that divide us as we thought. I took a long look at the world and with the shape the economy is in and the devestation I see all over the world, I figured, Christian Counseling is where I should be. We have way enough religion and it doesn't seem to being doing it's job as far as healing the hurt that the world is feeling right now. Oops! I'm starting to sound bitter again.
So.. let's catch up.
As of the writing of this post, we are in the process of putting our home in Short Sale. Long story short, we were turned down for our second application for loan modification. There just isn't enough money to go around. I am one of the vast numbers of underemployed people and Patricia is still unemployed. We've cut corners and clipped coupons and everything imagineable to makes end meet and nothing is working. If Patricia hadn't become the Coupon vixen we would not have had groceries at times. That along with the residual financial aid we get from school, we have been able to survive.
Regardless, there is not enough to support our family and keep our home. We don't know at this time, how this will all end up or where we will have to live. We don't even know the time table; that is up to God and the SunTrust Mortgage.
Anyway, if you read this post, don't feel bad for us. We are scared and at times worried, but our faith in God remains strong. We are praying constantly for a miracle. My son says, "All that matters is that we're together". That is the truth.
I hope that one day we will all look back on this time and feel blessed.
Blessings
Allen
Anyway, a lot has happened since my last post. I am doing online school at Liberty. Patricia has joined me and will begin classes this month. I changed my major from Religion to Psychology/Christian Counseling because I just felt like I was wasting my time majoring in religion when I don't feel called to preach. That and the fact that the Theology class I took last quarter and the Acts class I just finished opened my eyes to the fact that I will never be a theologian. I just want to be a simple person that loves God with all his heart, mind and soul. I don't care about all the "deep spiritual" things. Well, let me rephrase that, I care but I don't think I should spend the rest of my life in school only to find out that God wasn't as concerned with doctrines that divide us as we thought. I took a long look at the world and with the shape the economy is in and the devestation I see all over the world, I figured, Christian Counseling is where I should be. We have way enough religion and it doesn't seem to being doing it's job as far as healing the hurt that the world is feeling right now. Oops! I'm starting to sound bitter again.
So.. let's catch up.
As of the writing of this post, we are in the process of putting our home in Short Sale. Long story short, we were turned down for our second application for loan modification. There just isn't enough money to go around. I am one of the vast numbers of underemployed people and Patricia is still unemployed. We've cut corners and clipped coupons and everything imagineable to makes end meet and nothing is working. If Patricia hadn't become the Coupon vixen we would not have had groceries at times. That along with the residual financial aid we get from school, we have been able to survive.
Regardless, there is not enough to support our family and keep our home. We don't know at this time, how this will all end up or where we will have to live. We don't even know the time table; that is up to God and the SunTrust Mortgage.
Anyway, if you read this post, don't feel bad for us. We are scared and at times worried, but our faith in God remains strong. We are praying constantly for a miracle. My son says, "All that matters is that we're together". That is the truth.
I hope that one day we will all look back on this time and feel blessed.
Blessings
Allen
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