Psalm 150
1 Praise the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens.
2 Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness.
3 Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre,
4 praise him with tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flute,
5 praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals.
6 Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD.
My family and I have been visiting a church in our area that has been without a pastor for a couple of years. We are amazed that the church has survived for so long. They have been very diligent in their search but have been unable to get God's blessings on the right man for the job. They are a very strong, vibrant church and have done very well in the interim by filling the pulpit with great men of God such as Kenny Grant and Charlie Cooper. They have been pastorless until now. This past Sunday was the trial sermon of the man they wish to call as their pastor. Even though we are not sure that this church is the church that God would have us attend we wanted to at least hear the "new guy". I guess I went to bed with this on my mind because I woke up with the thought, "What if this was my trial sermon?". What if this was the last opportunity I had to speak in a public place a message from God? What would I say?
I could preach a hell fire and brimstone message about how we are born under the curse of sin and are enemies of God. And how it only because of the blood of Jesus that we have been saved, not from our sin, but from the wrath of God. Maybe that is the way I would go. But that is not the passion of my heart. To see people quivering in fear before God, afraid that the ceiling will collapse on their heads.
I could preach about the pattern that God has set for us for worship. I could say that churches that practice to please the worshipper instead of the One we worship are in violation of what God has set forth. I could tell you that there is no worship without first dealing with sin. I would give you the example that God gave us through the Tabernacle. The altar of sacrifice was the first thing people encountered as they entered the Tabernacle. They had to deal with their sin before they could enter into the presence of God.
I could preach that seeker sensitivity is not scriptural and that when we take the focus off of God and place it onto the "seekers" then we are actually bringing more worth to the seeker than we bring to God. I could say that worship is not about us or for our pleasure. If we approach God with the desire to do anything but fall before Him and worship Him then we are approaching for the wrong reasons.
I have so much to say and so little time to say it. Since I am not leading worship right now I seem to have no forum from which to speak. I have never been one to mince words when it comes to those things I am passionate about. Worship is one of those things. I have spent many years studying and learning from God on the subject of worship. I am nowhere near the point where I have my fingers on the pulse of God. I do feel, however, that I have insight that few people have. My opinions are not popular. It's like when you tell people that God is the One that pursues us and that we don't look for Him, He looks for us. People get offended when you say that. Why is that?
Anyway, back to the subject. I gave this lots of thought. I thought about it all the way to church and all the way through the sermon. Patricia was reading a devotion from My Utmost for His Highest while we were driving down the road. It was based on Isaiah 49:5. "Now the Lord says, who formed Me from the womb to be His servant..." I guess the thing that struck me most was "we are turned solely into servants of God's own purpose". Talk about taking the winds out of your sails. My whole purpose is to be a servant of God. It is not my decision to make as to how I serve God. I would think that leading worship would be the way I would serve God. Or teaching or, God forbid, preaching. But it's not my decision to decide how I serve God. If we're fortunate God will use the natural gifts and abilities we have spent a life time learning and prefecting but it doesn't really matter how talented we are, it is not our decision as to how we serve God. It is Gods decision. He alone decides how He will use us to bring glory to Himself.
I heard a story once of a concert violinist who lost both of her hands in a lawn mower accident. My immediate thought was, "What a waste!" I have had the thought many times, "What if I lost my hands or the ability to sing? How would I worship? How would I serve God? I would be useless!" But if I apply what God says about me and my purpose then it doesn't really matter if I lose my hands, my feet or my voice. In the story of Job we see a man who lost everything. He not only lost his children, his crops and flocks. he also lost his method of worship. All his animals were killed. His children, for which he sacrificed every day, were gone. He had no means of worship or a reason to worship, it seemed. But he fell on his face and worshipped God.
So, I guess what I'm saying is this. If this were my last day to give a final message from God. One final message without fear of losing position or title. In wreckless abandon, casting everything aside. Pushing aside fear of offending those I love.
BE WHAT GOD HAS CREATED YOU TO BE!!!
Don't ever take liberties and think it is your decision as to how you serve God. Let God be God and you be you, a servant of God. I remember stories of how in the old days if a hen tried to crow she would end up in the pot. A hen was not designed to be a rooster. Roosters don't try to lay eggs. Hens should not try to crow. A roosters crow is not just for show. It is how he guards and protects then hens he has charge over. It is not the hen's job to decide that she wants to be a rooster. So stop trying to be a rooster when God created you to be a hen!!! Stop trying to be anything other than what God has created you to be. When you wake each morning the first thought in your mind should be, "How can I bring God glory?" Give God the reigns of your life and let Him make the hard decisions minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.
Psalm 34:4-6 has become my life verse. It says, "Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord and trust in Him and He will do this: He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
Hello!!!!
My message. BE IT!!! I plan to have a T-shirt that simply says, "BE IT..." Isaiah 49:5
BE IT!!!!
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Start Up Churches
My wife was asked a question a couple of weeks ago that seems to be haunting me. She was working the voting polls and somehow got on the subject of so many start up church. I think the question was "Why are so many people starting churches when there are so many establised churches in the area?" I can't even remember what her response was because it seems that I have been searching for the answer myself.
I woke up the other morning with the same question on my mind. I guess for me I have an answer. I can't answer for other people but the ones I've spoken with seem to have the same issues with the "established" churches in the area. I know for me that I am sick of the superficial charade that passes for worship in most of our churches. I watch the people on tv and see some worship leader at some megachurch with tanned skin, perfect hair, perfectly white and straight teeth entertain the masses. The music may be great but it lacks something. Our local churches are no different. We like to think they are but really they are the same. The worship leader gets up and entertains the masses. Whether that be 50 or 500. We concentrate so much on chosing music that is culturally relevant and appealing to the world that we have lost the whole pattern that God set for us. There can be no worship without the sacrifice.
The churches in our area don't appeal to me. I have not interest in a church that has three services to "meet the needs of the people". If the Worship Leader is doing his job and God's people are assembling for the right reasons then there will no reason for a contemporary service or traditional service. Jesus never did away with the law, he fulfilled it. So we cannot throw away the past and it's music as if it has no relevance. The founding church fathers fought and some died to break away from traditional, fettering religion of their day. The songs written by John and Charles Wesley have just as must cultural relevance today as they did then. I am not saying that "A Mighty Fortress Is our God" nessesarily gets me in the mood to worship. But given the circumstances of say 911 I would say that this is the song that comforted the church. I remember standing in the YMCA and watching in horror as the twin towers collapsed and thinking that for the first time in my life there was no song in my head. I was horrified. I didn't know what to do with a mind that wasn't mentally humming a song or hands that no longer constantly tapped out a rythym. I remember walking into our church santuary, sitting at the piano and thinking, "I have no song to sing". I began to pray that God would give me a song to not only comfort me but to speak peace to the congregation on Sunday. The song that came to me was Twila Paris' "God is in Control". I never liked the song before and had I been at some other church at some other time I might have been told that the song was old and had lost it's cultural relevance.
Anyway, back to the subject. I have tired of church as it is. I am tired of being required to shove God in a box and being required to perform like some monkey at a circus. My pleasure and my satisfaction is not what is important. My pleasure and satisfaction come when I know that God is pleased and that I have followed Him.
It is not responsibility to please my congregation or my pastor for that matter. It is my responsibility and primary objective to listen to the voice of God and do what He says. To seek His desire and plan for worship. When I sit at the piano my first prayer is always, "Lord, how do You desire to be worshipped?" When I follow that voice I cannot be wrong. When God is pleased then his people should be pleased. If they are not then that is a heart problem not a a God problem. You don't need to change worship leaders. You don't need to start the search commitee up again. I have been asked to leave more churches than I care to mention. I have been the cause of many a dropped jaw and dropped fork at a dinner table. Worship should never be designed for our pleasure! It should be designed for God's pleasure. But you know what? We can't please God no matter how we beat ourselves senseless. We could crawl on our knees from home to the altar and wipe our blood of sacrifice all over the nice clean carpet of the church and it would still mean nothing. We could open our mouths and utter the most angelic sounds imaginable but it would be like filth in the nostrils of God. There can be no worship without sacrifice! The sacrifice or coming before God sinless. We cannot deal with God until we deal with our sin. That is a constant thing for me. I must constantly be before the altar.
So, why are so many people starting churches?
When we left our much larger church and decided to attend a start up church it was because my family was tired of the superficiality of the churches in our area. We hungered for something real. We needed to be with people who shared our passions. I am so tired of fake christians, singing songs that they have no idea what they mean. I am tired of pastors who, instead of allowing their worship leaders to use their gifts with freedom, and TRUSTING them to do so, keep them under their thumb. I am tired of church being a competition to see who can get the most attention and "atta boys". Like God gives a flying rats butt who does what the best. All the "stuff" we do will be piled up and cast away like dog dookie and all that will remain will be the "REAL US". Scary! I am tired of worship leaders who don't have the guts to stand and be what God created them to be. So what if you have to have a few heated meetings with the pastor or the music committee? So what if you don't get as many atta boys as you used to? So what if you find yourself moving you and your family to yet another church? Martin Luther took a little heat too. Heck, Jesus took a lot of heat! Thinks cannot remain the same, we must change the way we view worship or we will spend the rest of our lives searching and looking for next great place where we can meet with God. Where we can meet with God with others.
Until then, I guess we continue to search and roam the earth liek nomads. I am reminded of the words of the song "More of You".
"Though my thirst drives me on
As I stumble along
Over ground so baren and dry
There's a spring just ahead
Living water, Lord, fill me I cry!"
Maybe this is not what the writter was thinking about when he wrote the song but it applies to us today. Our thirst drives us on!!
Blessings
Allen
I woke up the other morning with the same question on my mind. I guess for me I have an answer. I can't answer for other people but the ones I've spoken with seem to have the same issues with the "established" churches in the area. I know for me that I am sick of the superficial charade that passes for worship in most of our churches. I watch the people on tv and see some worship leader at some megachurch with tanned skin, perfect hair, perfectly white and straight teeth entertain the masses. The music may be great but it lacks something. Our local churches are no different. We like to think they are but really they are the same. The worship leader gets up and entertains the masses. Whether that be 50 or 500. We concentrate so much on chosing music that is culturally relevant and appealing to the world that we have lost the whole pattern that God set for us. There can be no worship without the sacrifice.
The churches in our area don't appeal to me. I have not interest in a church that has three services to "meet the needs of the people". If the Worship Leader is doing his job and God's people are assembling for the right reasons then there will no reason for a contemporary service or traditional service. Jesus never did away with the law, he fulfilled it. So we cannot throw away the past and it's music as if it has no relevance. The founding church fathers fought and some died to break away from traditional, fettering religion of their day. The songs written by John and Charles Wesley have just as must cultural relevance today as they did then. I am not saying that "A Mighty Fortress Is our God" nessesarily gets me in the mood to worship. But given the circumstances of say 911 I would say that this is the song that comforted the church. I remember standing in the YMCA and watching in horror as the twin towers collapsed and thinking that for the first time in my life there was no song in my head. I was horrified. I didn't know what to do with a mind that wasn't mentally humming a song or hands that no longer constantly tapped out a rythym. I remember walking into our church santuary, sitting at the piano and thinking, "I have no song to sing". I began to pray that God would give me a song to not only comfort me but to speak peace to the congregation on Sunday. The song that came to me was Twila Paris' "God is in Control". I never liked the song before and had I been at some other church at some other time I might have been told that the song was old and had lost it's cultural relevance.
Anyway, back to the subject. I have tired of church as it is. I am tired of being required to shove God in a box and being required to perform like some monkey at a circus. My pleasure and my satisfaction is not what is important. My pleasure and satisfaction come when I know that God is pleased and that I have followed Him.
It is not responsibility to please my congregation or my pastor for that matter. It is my responsibility and primary objective to listen to the voice of God and do what He says. To seek His desire and plan for worship. When I sit at the piano my first prayer is always, "Lord, how do You desire to be worshipped?" When I follow that voice I cannot be wrong. When God is pleased then his people should be pleased. If they are not then that is a heart problem not a a God problem. You don't need to change worship leaders. You don't need to start the search commitee up again. I have been asked to leave more churches than I care to mention. I have been the cause of many a dropped jaw and dropped fork at a dinner table. Worship should never be designed for our pleasure! It should be designed for God's pleasure. But you know what? We can't please God no matter how we beat ourselves senseless. We could crawl on our knees from home to the altar and wipe our blood of sacrifice all over the nice clean carpet of the church and it would still mean nothing. We could open our mouths and utter the most angelic sounds imaginable but it would be like filth in the nostrils of God. There can be no worship without sacrifice! The sacrifice or coming before God sinless. We cannot deal with God until we deal with our sin. That is a constant thing for me. I must constantly be before the altar.
So, why are so many people starting churches?
When we left our much larger church and decided to attend a start up church it was because my family was tired of the superficiality of the churches in our area. We hungered for something real. We needed to be with people who shared our passions. I am so tired of fake christians, singing songs that they have no idea what they mean. I am tired of pastors who, instead of allowing their worship leaders to use their gifts with freedom, and TRUSTING them to do so, keep them under their thumb. I am tired of church being a competition to see who can get the most attention and "atta boys". Like God gives a flying rats butt who does what the best. All the "stuff" we do will be piled up and cast away like dog dookie and all that will remain will be the "REAL US". Scary! I am tired of worship leaders who don't have the guts to stand and be what God created them to be. So what if you have to have a few heated meetings with the pastor or the music committee? So what if you don't get as many atta boys as you used to? So what if you find yourself moving you and your family to yet another church? Martin Luther took a little heat too. Heck, Jesus took a lot of heat! Thinks cannot remain the same, we must change the way we view worship or we will spend the rest of our lives searching and looking for next great place where we can meet with God. Where we can meet with God with others.
Until then, I guess we continue to search and roam the earth liek nomads. I am reminded of the words of the song "More of You".
"Though my thirst drives me on
As I stumble along
Over ground so baren and dry
There's a spring just ahead
Living water, Lord, fill me I cry!"
Maybe this is not what the writter was thinking about when he wrote the song but it applies to us today. Our thirst drives us on!!
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I'm Amazed!!
I have been on this journey for a long time and it seems that I find myself amazed. I am always amazed at God's grace. I am always amazed that no matter how much I know about God, there always seems to be something new about Him that I don't know. I will never know all there is to know about Him.
I am also amazed at the capabilities of God's children. I have met many Godly people in my lifetime. I have had friends that drew me closer in my relationship with God. But I am always taken aback when someone who calls themself a believer sticks a knife in your back. It seems that in our journey through this life we have run across far more knife stickers than knee benders.
I admit that I am not always the most pleasant person to be around. Sometimes I bring shame to the name of Christ. I am not always kind to people in the checkout line at Walmart. I am not always a courteous driver. Sometimes I cut people off just becuase I can. But I do have a moral compass. When I come before God the first thing I do is ask Him to reveal those times when I brought Him shame. There is a lot of confessing in my life. The idea is to confess those things, be cleansed and CHANGE!
It's the people that seem to have no moral compass, no conviction from the Holy Spirit that I have the problem with. The people who are in our churches only to promote themselves. "Networking" is what they call it. I once had a friend whose wife sold cosmetics for a major cosmetic company. She was encouraged to carry around a clear bag with the product in it to church with her. Networking. Is that what church has become. I have been told by people that the reason they decided to go to a certain church is because of the influence of the people there. It could be good for their business or it could get their kid a place on the right team. If Jesus was here today I think there would be a lot of tables being turned over. This is what the Bible is talking about when it says that we have "lost our first love". We have lost sight of the reason behind our holy living. We have forsaken God and chosen to serve the god of this world, self serving.
It seems that my thoughts always come back to worship. This is why we can't find a church where we can be happy. It's not a problem with us, it's a problem with the church. The church has forgotten that worship is designed for God's pleasure and not ours.
I didn't really mean to get on the worship bandwagon.
I have a lady we work with that claims to be a believer but she is the most vindictive, coniving person I have ever met. Her husband is not a believer and probably never will be. She graces the halls of her church every Sunday and most Wednesday nights yet she has done nothing to indicate her status as a believer in the work place. It is very obvious that she despises me and has taken every oppotunity to make me look stupid.
My first reaction is to strike back with my caustic tongue and back her into the corner until she cries. I am very capable of doing so and would if not for the still small voice in my heart that rings in my ears. "I won't step over you to fight your battles", I here him say. I place my sword back in the sheath and wait. I wait and wait. I hate waiting.
So each night I confess that I hate her and ask God to show me something in her to love and to allow me to see the lost lamb that God would look high and low for.
It seems that the deader the old man is, the more frantically I work to give him CPR.
Blessings
Allen
I am also amazed at the capabilities of God's children. I have met many Godly people in my lifetime. I have had friends that drew me closer in my relationship with God. But I am always taken aback when someone who calls themself a believer sticks a knife in your back. It seems that in our journey through this life we have run across far more knife stickers than knee benders.
I admit that I am not always the most pleasant person to be around. Sometimes I bring shame to the name of Christ. I am not always kind to people in the checkout line at Walmart. I am not always a courteous driver. Sometimes I cut people off just becuase I can. But I do have a moral compass. When I come before God the first thing I do is ask Him to reveal those times when I brought Him shame. There is a lot of confessing in my life. The idea is to confess those things, be cleansed and CHANGE!
It's the people that seem to have no moral compass, no conviction from the Holy Spirit that I have the problem with. The people who are in our churches only to promote themselves. "Networking" is what they call it. I once had a friend whose wife sold cosmetics for a major cosmetic company. She was encouraged to carry around a clear bag with the product in it to church with her. Networking. Is that what church has become. I have been told by people that the reason they decided to go to a certain church is because of the influence of the people there. It could be good for their business or it could get their kid a place on the right team. If Jesus was here today I think there would be a lot of tables being turned over. This is what the Bible is talking about when it says that we have "lost our first love". We have lost sight of the reason behind our holy living. We have forsaken God and chosen to serve the god of this world, self serving.
It seems that my thoughts always come back to worship. This is why we can't find a church where we can be happy. It's not a problem with us, it's a problem with the church. The church has forgotten that worship is designed for God's pleasure and not ours.
I didn't really mean to get on the worship bandwagon.
I have a lady we work with that claims to be a believer but she is the most vindictive, coniving person I have ever met. Her husband is not a believer and probably never will be. She graces the halls of her church every Sunday and most Wednesday nights yet she has done nothing to indicate her status as a believer in the work place. It is very obvious that she despises me and has taken every oppotunity to make me look stupid.
My first reaction is to strike back with my caustic tongue and back her into the corner until she cries. I am very capable of doing so and would if not for the still small voice in my heart that rings in my ears. "I won't step over you to fight your battles", I here him say. I place my sword back in the sheath and wait. I wait and wait. I hate waiting.
So each night I confess that I hate her and ask God to show me something in her to love and to allow me to see the lost lamb that God would look high and low for.
It seems that the deader the old man is, the more frantically I work to give him CPR.
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
The Journey Is Over
Hey Guys
The past week or so has been a roller coaster of emotions for our family. It seems that once again we have found ourselves in the middle of controversy over worship. Patricia and I have spent our lives learning, studying, learning some more about worship. We don't claim to have our fingers on the pulse of God but we do feel that we have insight that very few people have. We have experienced God in all of His realness. We have had times when we felt that we were as close to God as a human was allowed to be and still be alive.
Our church has decided to follow the trend instead of the voice of God. I do not and never will believe that worship should be designed to please any group of people. It is up to God and His leadership via the Holy Spirit to keep us culteraly relavent. It is up to us to listen and follow and obey.
Ever since the discussion started to merge our church body with another church plant in the area there has been a definate push in the direction where we feel that the majority of churches are heading. It seems that the push to be Purpose Driven and follow the direction of Rick Warren is outweighing what is scriptural and what God has designed. Nowhere in scripture do we see an example or an instruction to design our worship around our culture. I get collective gasps each time I say that. It is what I believe. It is what God has taught me to believe.
I am a 48 year old man and can be set in my ways. Some music doesn't appeal to me but I still listen. Many people my age will only listen to one style. I am eclectic. I believe that God speaks through more than one style. (I struggle with whether He actually uses Southern Gospel or not) JK. What has kept me culturally relevant up to this point is my dedication to prayer and seeking God's will. Every song must meet serious critiria. It must be scripturally acurate. Style doesn't matter. The writer doesn't matter. The age of the song doesn't matter. It is my job once I feel led to pursue a song to make it condusive for worship, to arrange it an a style and key that makes it suitable for corporate worship and to pray, pray, pray for the leading to use it and then teach it to my team.
I am very discrouaged. I am having thoughts that maybe this is the season of my life when God has finished with me in this area and expects me to step aside and let Him use younger, fresher worshippers. Maybe this is the time that I need to support my kids and write songs for them and teach them how to lead worship.
I feel like Moses. Able to glance over into the Promised Land but not allowed to actually go there. I don't know if I can live an abudant life if I have to watch my kids go where my soul has always desired to go.
So, once again, the Cooke family is on the move. I never intended for our live to be like this, moving from church to church and never really finding what we are looking for. My family has been miserable at Journey and have only endured for my sake. I felt that Journey was the place that we could grow from the ground up. The small church has been very hard for us. I am used to leading choir, having a full band that actually practices and a plethura of voices to choose from.
Journey feels that the way I lead has become loud and distracting and that people are not able to worship. It couldn't possibly be the full set of drums and the 8 foot ceiling or the electric guitar blaring through one monitor speaker. It couldn't possibly be the one voice that no matter how bad it sounds seems to blare through the speakers. It most definately must be me.
I have lots of healing to do from past experiences and thought that Journey was the place that would allow me to do that. Instead I find that I am hurt all over again and the scabs have just been torn off and once again I am bleeding out of control.
I fully expected God to rush in in these last days and shake the stuff out of the church as a whole. He hasn't done that. The church is ineffetive as it stands and it is frustrating to watch it and know that God is able to change things and yet He chooses not to. The church is looking for "feel good" sessions and lacks the desire to know God fully. People don't hunger for God. I am heartbroken for the church. How can we expect to win a lost world? I am not interested in entertaining the masses. I am interested in following the passion of my heart, to sincerely worship God.
So the Journey is over. I guess the realization will hit me tomorrow. I have no idea where we go from here.
Blessings
Allen
The past week or so has been a roller coaster of emotions for our family. It seems that once again we have found ourselves in the middle of controversy over worship. Patricia and I have spent our lives learning, studying, learning some more about worship. We don't claim to have our fingers on the pulse of God but we do feel that we have insight that very few people have. We have experienced God in all of His realness. We have had times when we felt that we were as close to God as a human was allowed to be and still be alive.
Our church has decided to follow the trend instead of the voice of God. I do not and never will believe that worship should be designed to please any group of people. It is up to God and His leadership via the Holy Spirit to keep us culteraly relavent. It is up to us to listen and follow and obey.
Ever since the discussion started to merge our church body with another church plant in the area there has been a definate push in the direction where we feel that the majority of churches are heading. It seems that the push to be Purpose Driven and follow the direction of Rick Warren is outweighing what is scriptural and what God has designed. Nowhere in scripture do we see an example or an instruction to design our worship around our culture. I get collective gasps each time I say that. It is what I believe. It is what God has taught me to believe.
I am a 48 year old man and can be set in my ways. Some music doesn't appeal to me but I still listen. Many people my age will only listen to one style. I am eclectic. I believe that God speaks through more than one style. (I struggle with whether He actually uses Southern Gospel or not) JK. What has kept me culturally relevant up to this point is my dedication to prayer and seeking God's will. Every song must meet serious critiria. It must be scripturally acurate. Style doesn't matter. The writer doesn't matter. The age of the song doesn't matter. It is my job once I feel led to pursue a song to make it condusive for worship, to arrange it an a style and key that makes it suitable for corporate worship and to pray, pray, pray for the leading to use it and then teach it to my team.
I am very discrouaged. I am having thoughts that maybe this is the season of my life when God has finished with me in this area and expects me to step aside and let Him use younger, fresher worshippers. Maybe this is the time that I need to support my kids and write songs for them and teach them how to lead worship.
I feel like Moses. Able to glance over into the Promised Land but not allowed to actually go there. I don't know if I can live an abudant life if I have to watch my kids go where my soul has always desired to go.
So, once again, the Cooke family is on the move. I never intended for our live to be like this, moving from church to church and never really finding what we are looking for. My family has been miserable at Journey and have only endured for my sake. I felt that Journey was the place that we could grow from the ground up. The small church has been very hard for us. I am used to leading choir, having a full band that actually practices and a plethura of voices to choose from.
Journey feels that the way I lead has become loud and distracting and that people are not able to worship. It couldn't possibly be the full set of drums and the 8 foot ceiling or the electric guitar blaring through one monitor speaker. It couldn't possibly be the one voice that no matter how bad it sounds seems to blare through the speakers. It most definately must be me.
I have lots of healing to do from past experiences and thought that Journey was the place that would allow me to do that. Instead I find that I am hurt all over again and the scabs have just been torn off and once again I am bleeding out of control.
I fully expected God to rush in in these last days and shake the stuff out of the church as a whole. He hasn't done that. The church is ineffetive as it stands and it is frustrating to watch it and know that God is able to change things and yet He chooses not to. The church is looking for "feel good" sessions and lacks the desire to know God fully. People don't hunger for God. I am heartbroken for the church. How can we expect to win a lost world? I am not interested in entertaining the masses. I am interested in following the passion of my heart, to sincerely worship God.
So the Journey is over. I guess the realization will hit me tomorrow. I have no idea where we go from here.
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Lessons from the Fish Bowl
Hebrews 10:25
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
This morning was like any other morning. I woke up at 7AM and made my way into the kitchen to put the coffee on. Each morning for I don't know how many years my first priority has been to feed our goldfish "Fluffy". Fluffy is the spartest goldfish ever. He knows as soon as the light turns on in the kitchen that it is time for him to be fed. If I mistakenly make the coffee first or get busy doing some other chore then he makes a funny noise at the top of his bowl to get my attention. I would almost swear that in a past life he was a golden retreiver. While living in apartments and not being allowed to have pets our family opted on goldfish. Fluffy was the lone survivor and had been with out family for a few years. He had been the topic of conversation at many gatherings at the Cooke house. When we moved to our house in the country Fluffy was given a position of prominence in our home. He was placed where our family spends much of their time with each other and freinds. On the kitchen counter.
This morning was like any other. I shuffled into the kitchen and immediately noticed that Fluffy was not at the top of the bowl. Sometimes if it's really cool in the house he goes to the bottom of the bowl. I sprinkled a little food on top and still, no Fluffy. My heart sank. I looked on the counter behind the bowl and sure enough, Fluffly had jumped out of the water onto the counter. It was too late to save him.
I don't know what possessed the crazy fish to jump out of the bowl. He had never done that before and his first attempt was succesful and tragic.
So I had to wake my family and tell them that Fluffy was gone.
What lesson can I possibly learn from this.
I am sitting at my desk and thinking about the events of the morning when suddenly I am reminded of the above verse.
We are so much like our goldfish. We swim around in our little bowl and one day we decide to jump out into the vastness of space leaving the safety of the bowl.
My first thought on this vein was that how many of us leave the safety of our church family and then are so surprised when we find ourselves laying on the counter alone in the darkness, gasping for breath. We can't survive whithout the safety of our church family. Our tendency is to look out of the fishbowl and desire to be in the world beyond. So we jump, maybe not all at once. Maybe we stick our tails out of the water. We could survive without a tail if something horrible happens. Nothing happens, and the coolness of the air outside refreshes us and feels nice on our scales. So in the darkness of night we decide, "I will leave the safety of the bowl and jump with all my might out of the bowl". It never occurs to us how we will get back in.
We jump and as we flop and gasp on the counter, we realize that this was not a good idea.
Fellow travelers, we make so many excuses for the things we do. We justify things in our lives that take us away from our church family. Sticking our tails out of the water every now and then refreshes us and feels good to our scales. "I can live without a tail" we tell ourselves. Then when we find ourselves flopping and gasping for our lives. It never occured to us that we would desire to be in the bowl. The bowl was our life.
God's Word tells us that our church family is our fishbowl. We are safe when we are together. It's when we jump out of that bowl and decide to live life alone that we are in danger. A weekend here and Sunday there, a Bible study here a Lifegroup there and sooner or later we find ourselves on the kitchen counter all dried out and ready to be flushed.
In the early church, sticking together was survival. The early Christians had to depend on each other to eat and have shelter. Being a Christian in those times meant posssibly losing everything. Staying in the fishbowl was called survival.
So, as you make your plans for the summer dont' forget, YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOUR TAIL!!!
So long, Fluffy. You have taught me many lessons in your short life. Who would have thunk that the end of your life would be the most powerful lesson of all.
Blessings
Allen
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.
This morning was like any other morning. I woke up at 7AM and made my way into the kitchen to put the coffee on. Each morning for I don't know how many years my first priority has been to feed our goldfish "Fluffy". Fluffy is the spartest goldfish ever. He knows as soon as the light turns on in the kitchen that it is time for him to be fed. If I mistakenly make the coffee first or get busy doing some other chore then he makes a funny noise at the top of his bowl to get my attention. I would almost swear that in a past life he was a golden retreiver. While living in apartments and not being allowed to have pets our family opted on goldfish. Fluffy was the lone survivor and had been with out family for a few years. He had been the topic of conversation at many gatherings at the Cooke house. When we moved to our house in the country Fluffy was given a position of prominence in our home. He was placed where our family spends much of their time with each other and freinds. On the kitchen counter.
This morning was like any other. I shuffled into the kitchen and immediately noticed that Fluffy was not at the top of the bowl. Sometimes if it's really cool in the house he goes to the bottom of the bowl. I sprinkled a little food on top and still, no Fluffy. My heart sank. I looked on the counter behind the bowl and sure enough, Fluffly had jumped out of the water onto the counter. It was too late to save him.
I don't know what possessed the crazy fish to jump out of the bowl. He had never done that before and his first attempt was succesful and tragic.
So I had to wake my family and tell them that Fluffy was gone.
What lesson can I possibly learn from this.
I am sitting at my desk and thinking about the events of the morning when suddenly I am reminded of the above verse.
We are so much like our goldfish. We swim around in our little bowl and one day we decide to jump out into the vastness of space leaving the safety of the bowl.
My first thought on this vein was that how many of us leave the safety of our church family and then are so surprised when we find ourselves laying on the counter alone in the darkness, gasping for breath. We can't survive whithout the safety of our church family. Our tendency is to look out of the fishbowl and desire to be in the world beyond. So we jump, maybe not all at once. Maybe we stick our tails out of the water. We could survive without a tail if something horrible happens. Nothing happens, and the coolness of the air outside refreshes us and feels nice on our scales. So in the darkness of night we decide, "I will leave the safety of the bowl and jump with all my might out of the bowl". It never occurs to us how we will get back in.
We jump and as we flop and gasp on the counter, we realize that this was not a good idea.
Fellow travelers, we make so many excuses for the things we do. We justify things in our lives that take us away from our church family. Sticking our tails out of the water every now and then refreshes us and feels good to our scales. "I can live without a tail" we tell ourselves. Then when we find ourselves flopping and gasping for our lives. It never occured to us that we would desire to be in the bowl. The bowl was our life.
God's Word tells us that our church family is our fishbowl. We are safe when we are together. It's when we jump out of that bowl and decide to live life alone that we are in danger. A weekend here and Sunday there, a Bible study here a Lifegroup there and sooner or later we find ourselves on the kitchen counter all dried out and ready to be flushed.
In the early church, sticking together was survival. The early Christians had to depend on each other to eat and have shelter. Being a Christian in those times meant posssibly losing everything. Staying in the fishbowl was called survival.
So, as you make your plans for the summer dont' forget, YOU CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT YOUR TAIL!!!
So long, Fluffy. You have taught me many lessons in your short life. Who would have thunk that the end of your life would be the most powerful lesson of all.
Blessings
Allen
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
It's all Worthy Nothing
Phillipians 3:4-11
4 though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!
5 I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. 6 I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.
7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ.
For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!
We were talking about the Apostle Paul this past Sunday and reflecting on how the Bible would be different without him and his writings. It was because of Andrew that Paul was brought into a caring, discipling "church" so that he could become what God intended him to be. My thoughts went to this passage.
Paul could boast in so many things. He was a Jew among Jews. He had kept all the laws since his youth. But none of that compared to the priceless gift of Christ. It was all Paul could really glory in. The painful, sacrificial death of Christ was the only thing this great man of God could glory in. It was this and only this that made him acceptable to the Father. God didn't care who Paul was or what he had done or how many commandments he had kept and for how long. All God cared about was the blood of His Son. That is was took Paul from enemy status to friend status.
I guess I could do some boasting also. I could tell you all the things I have accomplished. I could tell you how many years of my life have been spent in service to God. I could tell you how many hours I dedicate praticing, preparing my heart, seeeking the face of God. I could paint a pretty sacrificial picture of myself. I could impress people. I can definately entertain them. God has given me a wonderful gift to be able to worship God and express my love for Him through music. Because of the years of perfecting my craft I can sit down and play pretty much anything at a moments notice and make it seem like I've practiced for hours. I have spent countless hours preparing for the spontenaity that God requires of me.
I could tell you sad stories about my childhood and how my father failed me and what a tyrant my mother was. How I would spend hours in my room praticing piano as an escape from the abuse of the household.
I could boast about how I started playing piano at age 13 and moved on to organ and then singing, then directing choirs and finally to worship leading.
Yes, I could paint a pretty picture of myself.
But, you know what? All that is nothing!!!
You heard me. Nothing!!
Nothing I can do on my own amounts to anything. God doesn't need me to complete His work or to cause His people to worship Him. He has chosen to use me, in spite of me. And as wonderful as it is to praise Him and lead His people in worship, He really doesn't need me to do it. His word says that He can cause the rocks and hills to cry out to Him in praise.
I can't take credit for anything I can do. I have practiced long and hard. It has taken years for me to develope my talents into what I do now. But had He not directed my life and had a direct hand in everything about my life I would have turned out to be a totally different person with totally different interests.
I say a very big Amen! with Paul.
"Yes, everything is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord".
I could choose to sing for another but why would I, how could I keep from singing and playing for one Who has done so much for me?
I turn 48 in a couple of days. I always seem to get down around my birthday. I always reflect on the failures of the past. I am not where I intended to be at age 48. I have dreamed a lot and a lot of those dreams have not been recognized. There have been lots of decisions made that have proved to be detrimental to the dreams I had. But my dreams are not God's dreams. They are mine. When I stand at the keyboard on Sunday morning and worship the God I love so very much, I don't focus on my failures. Sure, I wonder how such a holy God could desire friendship with such a sinful man, but mostly what I feel is that all my dreams have been realized. My entire family, with exception of Micah, is to my right, sharing the "stage" with me. What could be more fulfilling than that? To have the woman I love more than life and the children we have brought into this world together sharing in the passion of our hearts is more wonderful than any stupid dream I have.
There have been lots of ups and downs and lots of things I could feel sorry for myself about or feel regret about. I don't regret my family. Sure, life would have been easier if I would have never married. Perhaps I would be somewhere further down the road in the entertainment business. Maybe I would be writing songs that are sung by my idols, Mac Powell or Bebo Norman or Chris Tomlin. Maybe I would be 50 pounds lighter and run 5 miles everyday.
But nothing gives me more pleasure than hearing my church sing one of my songs or hearing one of my kids singing one of my songs while walking around the house. Nothing makes me feel more at peace with my life than knowing that I have been entrusted with raising a litter of worshippers.
Even with all this wonderfulness, nothing compares to the priceless gift of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Blessings
Allen
4 though I could have confidence in my own effort if anyone could. Indeed, if others have reason for confidence in their own efforts, I have even more!
5 I was circumcised when I was eight days old. I am a pure-blooded citizen of Israel and a member of the tribe of Benjamin—a real Hebrew if there ever was one! I was a member of the Pharisees, who demand the strictest obedience to the Jewish law. 6 I was so zealous that I harshly persecuted the church. And as for righteousness, I obeyed the law without fault.
7 I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. 8 Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ 9 and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ.
For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith. 10 I want to know Christ and experience the mighty power that raised him from the dead. I want to suffer with him, sharing in his death, 11 so that one way or another I will experience the resurrection from the dead!
We were talking about the Apostle Paul this past Sunday and reflecting on how the Bible would be different without him and his writings. It was because of Andrew that Paul was brought into a caring, discipling "church" so that he could become what God intended him to be. My thoughts went to this passage.
Paul could boast in so many things. He was a Jew among Jews. He had kept all the laws since his youth. But none of that compared to the priceless gift of Christ. It was all Paul could really glory in. The painful, sacrificial death of Christ was the only thing this great man of God could glory in. It was this and only this that made him acceptable to the Father. God didn't care who Paul was or what he had done or how many commandments he had kept and for how long. All God cared about was the blood of His Son. That is was took Paul from enemy status to friend status.
I guess I could do some boasting also. I could tell you all the things I have accomplished. I could tell you how many years of my life have been spent in service to God. I could tell you how many hours I dedicate praticing, preparing my heart, seeeking the face of God. I could paint a pretty sacrificial picture of myself. I could impress people. I can definately entertain them. God has given me a wonderful gift to be able to worship God and express my love for Him through music. Because of the years of perfecting my craft I can sit down and play pretty much anything at a moments notice and make it seem like I've practiced for hours. I have spent countless hours preparing for the spontenaity that God requires of me.
I could tell you sad stories about my childhood and how my father failed me and what a tyrant my mother was. How I would spend hours in my room praticing piano as an escape from the abuse of the household.
I could boast about how I started playing piano at age 13 and moved on to organ and then singing, then directing choirs and finally to worship leading.
Yes, I could paint a pretty picture of myself.
But, you know what? All that is nothing!!!
You heard me. Nothing!!
Nothing I can do on my own amounts to anything. God doesn't need me to complete His work or to cause His people to worship Him. He has chosen to use me, in spite of me. And as wonderful as it is to praise Him and lead His people in worship, He really doesn't need me to do it. His word says that He can cause the rocks and hills to cry out to Him in praise.
I can't take credit for anything I can do. I have practiced long and hard. It has taken years for me to develope my talents into what I do now. But had He not directed my life and had a direct hand in everything about my life I would have turned out to be a totally different person with totally different interests.
I say a very big Amen! with Paul.
"Yes, everything is worthless when compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord".
I could choose to sing for another but why would I, how could I keep from singing and playing for one Who has done so much for me?
I turn 48 in a couple of days. I always seem to get down around my birthday. I always reflect on the failures of the past. I am not where I intended to be at age 48. I have dreamed a lot and a lot of those dreams have not been recognized. There have been lots of decisions made that have proved to be detrimental to the dreams I had. But my dreams are not God's dreams. They are mine. When I stand at the keyboard on Sunday morning and worship the God I love so very much, I don't focus on my failures. Sure, I wonder how such a holy God could desire friendship with such a sinful man, but mostly what I feel is that all my dreams have been realized. My entire family, with exception of Micah, is to my right, sharing the "stage" with me. What could be more fulfilling than that? To have the woman I love more than life and the children we have brought into this world together sharing in the passion of our hearts is more wonderful than any stupid dream I have.
There have been lots of ups and downs and lots of things I could feel sorry for myself about or feel regret about. I don't regret my family. Sure, life would have been easier if I would have never married. Perhaps I would be somewhere further down the road in the entertainment business. Maybe I would be writing songs that are sung by my idols, Mac Powell or Bebo Norman or Chris Tomlin. Maybe I would be 50 pounds lighter and run 5 miles everyday.
But nothing gives me more pleasure than hearing my church sing one of my songs or hearing one of my kids singing one of my songs while walking around the house. Nothing makes me feel more at peace with my life than knowing that I have been entrusted with raising a litter of worshippers.
Even with all this wonderfulness, nothing compares to the priceless gift of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord.
Blessings
Allen
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Brokenhearted
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
This past weekend was Prom time for my little Hannah. All the preparations were made to make her as beautiful as possible. She really didn't need the help in that department but still it was like preparing a bride for her wedding. I won't go into a lot of detail but the long and short of it is that after all the preparations and excitement the night ended up being a disaster.
Her boyfriend left her alone most of the night and treated her like dirt. Didn't even sit with her at dinner. He spent the whole night with his friends.
After Prom Hannah went to spend the night with a group of girls and was due to come home sometime Sunday. She called at 3AM crying and wanted us to come pick her up. Her mom and I got in the car and drove out to the boonies to pick her up. She was a mess, emotionally.
Sunday was a very hard day for all of us. My little girl has had her first break up. Yes, she and Jordan, who we had begun to love like a son have broken up. The reasons and the justification for him treating her so badly is not important. Sunday I was mad and wanted to do evil things with a knife and his genitals. Today I am sad. Hannah has gone from being a heap of quivering humanity to being steaming mad. God help him! Hannah is on a rampage and wants answers.
My girls have not done the normal "date everything in pants" thing. We have raised them to take dating very seriously. We have set very high standards for them because we believe that God set high standards. We do not cheapen the courtship process. Sure, we expect broken hearts but we also expect our girls to be treated with dignity and respect. Their parents have not always modeled love and compassion and respect but when the layers are peeled away, we love each other deeply. I love her more than I ever thought possible and sometimes I just want to grab her ravage her in public. I refrain of course.
I want guys to desire my daughters. To only think of them when they are together. To only think of them when they are apart.
I am trying to put aside the amount of money spent for this event for it all to end so badly. Anson and Nicole bought her dress while they were in New York and we spent grocery money to get her nails done and Ashley did her hair and makeup. When she stepped out of the car people stopped and gasped. One little girl ran up to her and hugged her and asked her if she was Cinderella. She was drop-dead gorgeous and I was so very proud to be her father.
The emotions are running wild in our house right now. We spent our first night watching "Dancing With the Stars" without Jordan and I was a little sad. We all feel like we've lost a member of our family.
Part of me wants to beat him until he bleeds, the other part of me wants to invite him back and have him eat dinner with us again. He had, in a very short time, become a part of our family.
I saw him as possibly someone who would be in our family for a long time. Possibly a son-in-law. Regardless whether it was by marriage or not, he was to be a member of our family. We often joked about if he and Hannah broke up that Jordan would still come to our house to see us. I guess we will see.
Maybe the time will come when both of my girls and their husbands will sit in our living room and watch "Dancing With The Stars" or possibly watch reruns of Ashley on "American Idol" but right now we are nursing broken hearts and it's hard to see the happy part of the journey. We have to lean on the God Who promises that he will "heal our broken hearts" and allow Him to "bandage our wounds". As I gazed at the pictures taken on Sautday I find myself amazed at the beautiful young woman Hannah has become. And she's not just pretty on the outside, she's pretty inside too. I can't help but think of the time we were in Kroger at Halloween time. We turned around and Hannah was gone. All the sudden we hear "yook, ya'll, I found me a witch!" He she came down the middle of Kroger with the biggest cardboard witch I had ever seen. All we could see was her fingers and her little feet from behind the thing. That's Hannah. She always picks up more than she should. Most people would say, "This is too big" or "It's too heavy". Not Hannah. She'll pick it up and in her stuborn but sweet way, carry it to the destination. She doesn't give up and she doesn't settle. Some young man out there will probably learn the hard way that she is "spirited". I plan to warn them but it won't do any good. She'll flash those beautiful blue eyes and laugh that heavy laugh and he'll be caught. Caught in Hannah's rope.
Take care Jordan. You will be sorely missed. I don't feel like killing you today. Be Grateful!
Blessings
Allen
He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.
This past weekend was Prom time for my little Hannah. All the preparations were made to make her as beautiful as possible. She really didn't need the help in that department but still it was like preparing a bride for her wedding. I won't go into a lot of detail but the long and short of it is that after all the preparations and excitement the night ended up being a disaster.
Her boyfriend left her alone most of the night and treated her like dirt. Didn't even sit with her at dinner. He spent the whole night with his friends.
After Prom Hannah went to spend the night with a group of girls and was due to come home sometime Sunday. She called at 3AM crying and wanted us to come pick her up. Her mom and I got in the car and drove out to the boonies to pick her up. She was a mess, emotionally.
Sunday was a very hard day for all of us. My little girl has had her first break up. Yes, she and Jordan, who we had begun to love like a son have broken up. The reasons and the justification for him treating her so badly is not important. Sunday I was mad and wanted to do evil things with a knife and his genitals. Today I am sad. Hannah has gone from being a heap of quivering humanity to being steaming mad. God help him! Hannah is on a rampage and wants answers.
My girls have not done the normal "date everything in pants" thing. We have raised them to take dating very seriously. We have set very high standards for them because we believe that God set high standards. We do not cheapen the courtship process. Sure, we expect broken hearts but we also expect our girls to be treated with dignity and respect. Their parents have not always modeled love and compassion and respect but when the layers are peeled away, we love each other deeply. I love her more than I ever thought possible and sometimes I just want to grab her ravage her in public. I refrain of course.
I want guys to desire my daughters. To only think of them when they are together. To only think of them when they are apart.
I am trying to put aside the amount of money spent for this event for it all to end so badly. Anson and Nicole bought her dress while they were in New York and we spent grocery money to get her nails done and Ashley did her hair and makeup. When she stepped out of the car people stopped and gasped. One little girl ran up to her and hugged her and asked her if she was Cinderella. She was drop-dead gorgeous and I was so very proud to be her father.
The emotions are running wild in our house right now. We spent our first night watching "Dancing With the Stars" without Jordan and I was a little sad. We all feel like we've lost a member of our family.
Part of me wants to beat him until he bleeds, the other part of me wants to invite him back and have him eat dinner with us again. He had, in a very short time, become a part of our family.
I saw him as possibly someone who would be in our family for a long time. Possibly a son-in-law. Regardless whether it was by marriage or not, he was to be a member of our family. We often joked about if he and Hannah broke up that Jordan would still come to our house to see us. I guess we will see.
Maybe the time will come when both of my girls and their husbands will sit in our living room and watch "Dancing With The Stars" or possibly watch reruns of Ashley on "American Idol" but right now we are nursing broken hearts and it's hard to see the happy part of the journey. We have to lean on the God Who promises that he will "heal our broken hearts" and allow Him to "bandage our wounds". As I gazed at the pictures taken on Sautday I find myself amazed at the beautiful young woman Hannah has become. And she's not just pretty on the outside, she's pretty inside too. I can't help but think of the time we were in Kroger at Halloween time. We turned around and Hannah was gone. All the sudden we hear "yook, ya'll, I found me a witch!" He she came down the middle of Kroger with the biggest cardboard witch I had ever seen. All we could see was her fingers and her little feet from behind the thing. That's Hannah. She always picks up more than she should. Most people would say, "This is too big" or "It's too heavy". Not Hannah. She'll pick it up and in her stuborn but sweet way, carry it to the destination. She doesn't give up and she doesn't settle. Some young man out there will probably learn the hard way that she is "spirited". I plan to warn them but it won't do any good. She'll flash those beautiful blue eyes and laugh that heavy laugh and he'll be caught. Caught in Hannah's rope.
Take care Jordan. You will be sorely missed. I don't feel like killing you today. Be Grateful!
Blessings
Allen
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