Expecting God

Why is it we live our lives like we don't expect God to be there? Why is it when we go to church and God shows up we are so surprised? Why is when God is silent and we go through an entire worship service or an entire week without "feeling" anything that we are so depressed and downcast that we can't even go outside?
I'm in this study on Malachi everyday and I am more convicted each time. It's like a wreck on the freeway; even though I know it's an accident and I may be totally grossed out or allow my vision to fall on something that may haunt me for years, I can't look away. As painful as this study is I can't stop doing it. I find myself in every page of Malachi.
My heart goes out to the children of Israel. The last words of God to them was chastisement and rebuke. Then silence. 400 years of silence. How horrifying. Plenty of time for the words to ring in their ears and in the ears of their children. Still they didn't get it. They still didn't understand why God was so cross.
I remember the day Patricia and I we laid off. It's seemed we went from a life of busyness to nothing. Plenty of time for the words we were told to ring in our ears. I'm very thankful that God was not silent during that time. Can you imagine how hard it must have been for the Israelites to tell the stories of how God had delivered them from the hand of Pharoah, how he lead them in the wilderness, how he showed up time and time again. Can you imagine the lump in the throats of the adults as they told those stories to wide eyed children? A hand goes up in the back of the room. The Rabbi calls the name of the little boy holding up his hand. "Where is God now and why does he not deliver us now?" The little boy's parents are probably mortified and reach to take him outside to save him the them the embarrassment. "We do not know where God is and why he no longer delivers us" comes the reply.
The just didn't get it. Neither do we.
I would dare say that 90 percent of the people who enter our church each Sunday come with the desire to meet God but they don't really expect to meet him there. When they do they are completely surprised. When they don't they put on their "church" face, pat the pastor on the back and leave feeling unfulfilled.
I can't really say I blame them. I remember back when I led worship that there were those times when I just knew that the songs I used were directly from God's inspiration. Those were the times when God showed up. I expected him because I had spent the whole week preparing for him. His presence didn't take me by surprise because I had taken his leading and worshipped him the way he desired. Other times I felt that he left me the reigns and I did what I do best. I entertained the masses. Those were days when it seemed that everyone was happy but me. I know when God shows up. I recognize his walk.
What will it take to get this message to the church as a whole? When will we learn that we are to live our lives, design our worship services and plan our sermons like we expect God to be there? I guess one person at a time.
I looked over the music for this Sunday and immediately sighed. There seemed to be no inspiration or expectation. I completely loath one of the songs and if I could travel back in time to when the song was written I would reach over and snatch the pen out of the composers hand and pop him the nose like I do the weiner dogs and say "NO, NO!!. I guess if my attitude is one that expects God to show up then he will show up. It's not about the music or the song selection. It's not about the sermon or the lack thereof. It's about our hearts living in expectation. Expect him because you have spent the week with him and you know his desire is to be there. Expect him beause regardless of the heart next to you, your heart is ready. Your hearts yearns for him. Your heart expects to find him there.
I will be going to Praise Team practice in a matter of hours. I am going with expection. I am expecting God to show up.

Blessings
Allen