More Than Enough

Numbers 18:20 And the Lord said to Aaron, “You priests will receive no allotment of land or share of property among the people of Israel. I am your share and your allotment.
I was reading my study in Malachi yesterday and in the passages was the above verses from Numbers. The study was actually talking about the seriousness and the specialness of God's calling for the Priests but when I got the verse 20 my heart sank a little. God had passed out blessings like crazy to the other tribes of Israel. Every piece of the new Promised Land had been divided out. When it came to Aaron's decedents, the tribe of Levi, they were told that they would get no allotment of land of share of property. I wonder if they felt let down. Here is the God of the universe passing out jobs, property and other blessings and the very ones who were responsible for standing in the gap between the people and God got nothing. Squat!!!
I guess that the way it appears if you look at it from human eyes. As I sat and read over this again I tried to picture myself standing in that great multitude and hearing those words. I tried to feel the reaction of my heart as I heard the words, "You priest will receive not allotment of land of property". Knowing me and knowing the way I rush to a conclusion. I assume what someone is saying sometimes before they are done saying it. Knowing the way I assume that God has abandoned me when I don't hear His voice every second of the day. Knowing the way that I assume that my friends don't care about me because they don't call or come by when actually they have JOBS AND FAMILIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES!!! Knowing all these things about myself I understand why I would miss the last part of what God actually said. Funny how we get bent so out of shape because we don't stop and listen to the end of a statement.
I have walked many years with God. I have witnessed the miraculous. I have seen Him provide when there was no provision. I have witnessed the changes in a sinner who was so bent against God until they truly experienced Him. I have been there when the presence of God filled the temple. I have seen His cloud by day and His pillar of fire by night. So it brings me great conviction when I miss such an important statement. "I am your share and allotment". That is God saying, "I am enough. I am giving you direct access to Me".
I left the house this morning with my girls in the car. One of them is broken hearted right now and I tried to tell her that God was enough and that He listens to us when we pray. I glanced around into the cars on the highway and people were busy talking on phones, putting on makeup while driving and going to work. I had a fleeting thought of jealousy. I long so much to back in the game. It's sort of depressing when you think about that all you have to look forward to is coming home and having all the time in the world to study the word of God. Today was one of those days. We have every reason to be grateful. We just got an email from someone who is providing a reading program for Micah that will hopefully help him overcome his reading disability. That was a direct answer to prayer. A few weeks ago we watched as God provided a Prom dress for Hannah. In the same week we received a box full of meat from a friend and the week before that other friends had provided us groceries and pantry supplies. God is good!!!
So why is it that I feel like I'm being cheated? I guess society has taught me that you are only as valuable as what you do. We have been taught that people in the service of God have less value. We tend to think that they don't really work that hard.
I have a friend who keeps telling me to enjoy my time off. Each time he tells me that I want to slug him in the face. How can I enjoy myself when I feel so worthless?
I did my job search this morning and was really scared at the low number of jobs we are finding available these days. A few weeks ago there were lots of jobs to apply for but literally thousands of people applying for them. We have had zero calls. The past two weeks have been different. Now there are fewer jobs being posted. The unemployment numbers are growing every day. I don't know what it will take to make things better. I'm trying very hard to learn the lessons that God has for me in all of this. Today that lesson is "I am enough". He is.
Father, I woke up this morning feeling like I had been cheated. You are more than enough for me.
More Than Enough
Jehovah Jireh My Provider
You are more than enough for me
Jehovah Raepha You're my healer
By your stripes I've been set free
Jehovah Shammah You are with me
You Supply All My Needs
You are more than enough
More than enough
You are more than enough for me


Blessings
Allen