Making The Cut

Matthew 4:18-22 (New Living Translation)
The First Disciples 18 One day as Jesus was walking along the shore of the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers—Simon, also called Peter, and Andrew—throwing a net into the water, for they fished for a living. 19 Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” 20 And they left their nets at once and followed him.
21 A little farther up the shore he saw two other brothers, James and John, sitting in a boat with their father, Zebedee, repairing their nets. And he called them to come, too. 22 They immediately followed him, leaving the boat and their father behind.
I'm having one of those days. You know what I mean. The days when you feel like you didn't make the cut. Even before I read today's devotion I was feeling alienated. I never realized that I could see myself in the lives of the disciples. During Jesus' time boys only had two options. Attend school at the temple or work for a living. All Jewish boys went to school in the temple but only a few "shining stars" were chosen to follow in the steps of the Rabbi. These select few, learned everything there was to know about being a Rabbi. They ate the food the Rabbi ate, they went where the Rabbi went, they read what the Rabbi read. Their job was to learn to imitate the Rabbi. They did this by being in attendance to every waking moment of the Rabbi's life.
The rest of the boys that didn't make the cut went to work. That's where Jesus found Simon, Andrew, James and John. They had not made the cut. That's where I feel like I am. I just wonder how long it will be until Jesus comes to my boat and calls my name. My eyes fill with tears as I write that. I just want to scream "When is it my turn?". I've worked my butt off, I've practiced, written, listened, studied and now I find myself sitting on the boat waiting.
I'm trying to be patient. I trying to learn in the waiting. Following God is hard.

Blessings
Allen